


And the Best Kept Secret

by kingdomkeeperofthelibrary



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Making Out, Season 2 Timeline, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-11 20:24:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5640691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingdomkeeperofthelibrary/pseuds/kingdomkeeperofthelibrary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They weren't expecting to find themselves in his hotel room that night in Peru, kissing. They weren't expecting to continue the trend three months later. Jake and Cassandra know how they feel, but they have to figure out where they are, and where they're going.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I originally posted this story on my account at fanfiction.net(kingdomkeepers365), but just got an A03 account and am posting it here. So basically I have this theory that Jake and Cassandra have totally been secretly dating for the entirety of season 2, and this is my idea of how it all played out.

** Chapter 1: Prologue: Peru **   
**_Cassandra_ **

It all started with a kiss. It was just an innocent little kiss. Well maybe not innocent. I still don’t know how it happened, or rather why it happened. No; I knew why: I’d been enamored with Jacob Stone since the second day I knew him. What I mean is, I don’t know why it happened _when_ it happened. 

We were in Peru, and we’d been there for a few days, and we’d just gotten back to the hotel where we were staying. There’d been a big fallout that day and Ezekiel was all mad and not speaking to either of us. That was the beginning of the end of our little adventure as a team, but it marked the beginning of the beginning of something else entirely. 

I couldn’t sleep, thinking about everything. I don’t know what brought me out to the hallway, but something did. I was in my pajamas and barefoot; I remember the floor was cold. More than anything, I remember the surprise of looking to my left and finding Jake sitting there, against the wall between our doorways. 

“Hey” I said. He jerked his head up. “Sorry if I scared you.”

“No not at all” he mumbled. “Hi”

“You couldn’t sleep either?” I asked. 

“Nope”

Then there was silence. I looked down at the floor. It really was a rough night. I had no idea what was happening, and that scared me. It shouldn’t have. My whole life had been about not knowing what the future held, but the Library changed that. It erased it, or made me feel better about it. I didn’t know which. What I did know was that loosing that comfort felt like some kind of emptiness. 

“God Cassandra is this the end?” Jake finally sighed. “Is everything we all built together over?”

“I don’t think so” I lied. It was more for me than him. I needed to believe that everything would be okay. 

“But Jones seems real angry”

“I think he just needs some time. He’s probably frustrated. It’s hard to remember sometimes: he’s just a kid” 

“Well, thanks for having my back anyway.”

“I’m always going to have your back Jacob” 

I didn’t know why I said it. It was the truth, but since when was I one to go blurting the truth all the time? I didn’t really _lie_ , sure, but I withheld things, especially when it came to Jake.

There was silence again. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I worried how he perceived what I said. Once again I didn’t know anything: a paralyzing feeling.   
What I did know was that it was the middle of the night, and we were alone out here, and Jake looked tired, but he smelt like musty shower gel, and the smoke from the fires we’d encountered that day. 

When his lips met mine, I was terrified, but I didn’t pull back. Because _God_ , I’d wanted this moment for six months. Maybe this exactly wasn’t how I’d pictured it; I didn’t really know how I’d pictured it. Whatever it was, it was happening now, and it was happening all so fast. My heart was pounding against my shirt, but _dear lord_ I was kissing him back. 

His lips tasted like beer. He must’ve been drinking. I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t have time to focus on that though because the smells of him, the smells of comfort and fear and hope and regret, were all around. Bright pinks and yellows filled my mind. 

We pulled away. Both of us were breathing heavily. After only a moment’s hesitation, somehow, we stood up and then we were kissing again. Jake led me towards his door and I didn’t falter. He pushed it open with his back and then we were inside, still kissing, more heavily this time. My heart had never beaten this hard in my entire life. 

Then my hands were in his hair, his soft, perfect hair, still wet from the shower I could sense he’d taken. His arms were around my waist, and then his hands were running up and down my back and it all felt so wrong but so right at the same time, and _no_ I couldn’t stop now. 

It didn’t go further than that: kissing, touching. Never the less, my life changed that night in a way I never could have expected

_**Jake** _

I felt alone that night until she was there. I was alone, and afraid, and I really thought that everything good I’d come into in the last six months was coming crashing down. Then she came outside, and she didn’t run away; she stayed. If she was staying, maybe it meant that not everything good in my life was going away. 

I could barely register anything she said, but I knew she’d asked me if I had trouble sleeping. I told her yes. Truth was, I hadn’t tried to go to sleep. If I’d gone to sleep, I could’ve woken up to a different life. They could be gone, and I could be on my own. 

We talked for a while. I didn’t hesitate to voice my fears around her. She understood. I knew she understood. Still, through it all, I could barely hear anything she was saying. My mind was in a fog, a fog of worry and self-loathing. I couldn’t help but feel that if we fell apart, it was my fault. 

I knew I didn’t deserve everything Cassandra did for me. In the hardest times, when I wasn’t sure if I belonged in this world of ours, she made it all make sense. She balances out my mind, and I can’t even tell her that I trust her. The words, the truths, were flying from my mouth without me realizing it. I wasn’t even sure what I said when her next words rang out, the clearest things I’d heard all day. 

“I’m always going to have your back Jacob”

I love that, the way she calls me Jacob. It feels so honest, so real, like she’s addressing me for who I am, and not who I was. “Stone” sounds like the man who got into bar fights after working on his father’s oil rig. “Jacob” sounds more like an artist, an intellectual. I’d never heard her call me that before that night. 

All of a sudden I looked up at her, really looked at her. She was in her pajamas: loose sweat pants and a tank-top. She looked gorgeous. I’d been attracted to her for a long time of course, since we first met, but never like this. Sitting there she looked _sexy_ , and I couldn’t help but feel that that had more to it than what she was wearing. 

I didn’t know what came over me, but I leaned in, and the next thing I knew, we were kissing. I could barely register anything except the fact that our lips were meeting, and she tasted like everything I’d ever wanted. I was a little buzzed, sure, but this was more than that. This was months in the making. 

I didn’t even know what was happening until we were in my hotel room and she was close to me, closer than she’d ever been. I could feel her curls brushing against my skin. Her hands tickled my scalp as they ran through my hair, and my stomach lurched. 

My hands found their way up and down her back, and before I knew it they were under her shirt. Her skin, the skin I’d dreamt about, was soft and warm. She was shaking, but then again I was shaking too. This had to be wrong, but if it was, why did my whole soul feel at peace? 

She pushed me forward and soon we were on the bed. She was on top of me, and our bodies intertwined, My hands were still running across her back underneath her shirt, and then she was kissing my neck. 

It took every ounce of strength I had, emotional strength, to push her off of me. This was not the time. Not yet. If I didn’t stop it, I knew we’d both have regrets in the morning. Whatever we were going to be, I didn’t want it to start with regrets. 

“Cassie, Cassie, Cassie” I urged. She was fighting me, trying to continue the kissing. _God_ I wished I’d had less of a conscience in that moment. 

“Not yet” I explained. 

We sat on the bed next to each other, and once we’d regained our composures, she smiled at me. I knew she was glad I’d stopped things when I did, and so was I. 

“Goodnight” she finally said. 

“Night” I replied, nodding my head towards her as she walked out the door. 

That was the last time we were alone for three months. The next morning, before we really got anything done, Ezekiel ran off, and for some stupid reason, we figured the only thing to do was to do the same. 


	2. And The Drowned Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Cassandra meet again for the first time in three months. Where do they stand after what happened in Peru?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Know I just published the first chapter, but that was already established when I finished this. So here's chapter 2! Takes place during episode 2X01, and basically details their thoughts during the different Jassandra scenes

_**Cassandra**_  
I’m not prepared to see Jake that day. 

I’m standing there, smiling. The team’s getting back together, and all by coincidence too. It feels like fate that the clippings book sent me here. I’m not sure if I can call it fate exactly; it’s more like the Library knowing exactly what it’s doing. 

All of a sudden, a familiar voice breaks through the crowd and I freeze. _Oh my god_. He’s here. He seems to just be floating along, telling Colonel Baird and Flynn what happened. Is he thinking about what happened that night? Has he already thought about it as much as I have? Does he even remember it? 

“Jacob” I hear myself mutter, and immediately regret it. I sound scared. To be fair, I am, but I don’t want him to know that. 

Then, he winks at me. A wink: I’m not exactly sure what to make of it, but I guess I feel a little better. He bumps arms with Colonel Baird and I smile. I missed this, all of us together like this. It hasn’t even been five minutes and I already know that I never should have left. 

It doesn’t matter how I feel about that now though, because largely on my mind is the man standing next to me, not as close as he always did. Then, there’s a huge storm brewing above our heads. There’s no time to think about this now. We’re Librarians; we’ve got work to do. 

_**Jake**_  
She’s the first one that I see standing in the courtyard. I couldn’t miss her bright red curls anywhere, though it looks like she’s died them a bit darker; she looks beautiful. I address Flynn first. I’m too nervous to even look at her. 

I hear her call my name, and immediately I know that she’s thinking about what happened that night. She sounds how I’m feeling, but refusing to show. I can’t let my feelings take over here, not in front of everyone. So, I do what the old Jake Stone would have done: I wink at her. 

It’s just a wink, just a way of acknowledging that yes, that happened, and yes I remember, and yes I’m still completely and totally head over heels attracted to you. Not that I can actually tell her any of that though. 

The message must get across though, because her expression softens. I’m trying to contemplate whether I should move closer to her when the storm clouds open, and our emotions are left to be locked away until the case is over. 

_**Cassandra**_  
Math really can be my greatest escape. I know that because as I’m in the weather lab, working with Jenkins, my mind has not once shifted to the events of three months ago. I’m not worried about the consequences of it, or anxious about what he’s thinking: I’m just working. Then he walks in. 

It’s the first time we’ve been alone together since that night, and immediately I tense up. Here comes the fallout. Before I even get the chance to say hello though, he’s rambling on about needing the relative densities of chess piece metals. 

I’m confused at first, lost, frustrated, but it’s not long before I remember why I kissed him in the first place. He really is just so charming, and I find it flattering that he’d come to me for help. 

“You could’ve looked this up on your own” I smirk, because really he could have. 

“Yeah but you’re faster than the internet” he replies. “You know that” 

Now he wears that same mischievous smile that I just showed him. _Oh my God_. He’s _flirting_ with me. Thinking that there’s nothing else to do, I flirt right back, smiling at him. I’m falling right back into the trap. 

_He cares about me_ is all I can think. He came up here, went through all that trouble to see me. Because while I may be “faster than the internet”, climbing up all those flights of stairs to the weather lab is not. I’m about to point this out when Ezekiel walks into the room, shutting us off from a conversation once again. 

_**Jake**_  
I’m hoping that I’ll find her working in the weather lab. I tell myself that it’s to get the densities of the chess pieces, but the truth is I need to be near her. I need to figure out what it is that I’m feeling. 

For three months I wondered. I traveled from place to place, solving mystery after mystery, and every night I was left with the same thoughts: what happened that night? Was it just a one time thing, a result of exhaustion, or did it mean something more for us? 

Are we committed now? Am I just supposed to forget about it? Is she thinking the same things that I am? I need answers to my questions, and I need to see her to get them. 

I see her immediately when I enter the room. I rush over and start rambling on about the chess pieces. I can’t even bring myself to look her in the eye, because I know if I do, I might break. 

Finally, I’m finished, and I look her right in those big blue eyes. Immediately, I’m sucked right back to Peru: I just want to kiss her and tell her how I feel about her, how I’ve always felt about her. 

“You could’ve looked this up on your own” 

_Damn_. She saw right through my alibi. I should’ve figured as much. Part of me thinks that I wanted her to though. Maybe I wanted her to know why I really came here. 

The way she’s looking at me, the way she’s smiling, there is more romantic tension in the room than I expected. Consequently, I find myself flirting again, smiling right back at her. 

“You’re faster than the internet” I say. “You know that” 

She smiles right at me again, and I swear I’m about to rush over and grab her in my arms when Jones walks into the room. I watch her quickly try to act natural, and I do the same, but I can’t help some of the frustration showing on my face. When will we ever get to say what happened?

_**Cassandra**_  
The chaos just won’t stop today will it? Every time I think we’ve come close to solving the puzzle, there’s just another step. I’m on my way to do my part when I see Jake walking down the stairs in a metallic suit.

He’s talking about letting in the sunbeam, and I can hear the worry in his voice. He’s breaking, and I just want to be there for him. I want to hold him and tell him he’ll be okay, because I need to believe it. That sunbeam could kill him, we both know it could. I can’t lose him, not when I’m only just learning to love him. I can’t do anything about it though. Ezekiel is right here, and I still haven’t talked to Jake about what he thinks. 

“Hey” he says, and I swear he looks right into my eyes. “We were alright, for the three months we were on our own? We were fine.” 

How could he think such a thing? Was he okay on his own, because now I know, facing it head on, I wasn’t. I know that now is the time to say everything, even if it isn’t direct. I need to say something now, or I’ll explode. I have to let him know that I need him. 

“But we weren’t fine” I say. My voice falters, on the verge of tears, but I continue on. “We weren’t okay. I don’t even know why we went our separate ways” 

I can’t believe I ever left in Peru. I let fear control me. I should’ve held on. Jacob and Ezekiel, they’re my true family, I know that. 

“It just happens to people” Ezekiel says. 

“No” I insist. “Not to us. It’s not happening” 

Something drives me forward and soon I’ve pulled Jake into a tight hug. I feel his arms wrap around me immediately. The embrace feels so familiar, so right. Maybe it was too soon, but if this is the last time I see him, I want him to know that I cared about him, that he really did mean something to me. 

“I’ll see you on the other side Cassie” he smiles. 

“You better” I smirk back. 

There seems to be an agreement between us now. I can read it through his eyes, and I hope he’s gotten the message from me: what happened that night wasn’t a mistake. Jacob really better make sure he sees me after we’ve fixed everything, because I have a feeling I’ll be in the mood for a celebratory kiss. 

_**Jake**_  
When Jenkins tells me what we’re doing, I’ve never been more terrified. I could die in there. I could literally die in there. I try not to show it though. I’m a Librarian; I’ve gotta put on a brave face even in the times of greatest peril: that’s my job.

My nerves get the better of me again when I see Cassie walking through the annex. I only hope her task is less dangerous than mine. The thought of anything happening to her, it eats me up right down to the core. 

“Where you goin’?” I ask. 

She turns as she starts to explain, and I see the confusion cross her face. I don’t blame her. I look like an idiot in this stupid shiny suit. I wish she didn’t have to see me in this thing, especially after everything. 

I try to tell her and Jones what I’m doing when they ask, but I hear my voice start to crack. I don’t want to be scared, but I am. This is my family, and it could be the last time I see them. This could be the last time I see Cassandra. 

There’s silence for a moment, and I know what I have to do. If this is my last chance to talk to Cassie, I have to. There’s no time to hold back anymore. Of course, matters would be a lot easier if Jones wasn’t standing right here. I need to be discreet; somehow I’ve got to say what needs to be said without actually saying it. 

“We were alright” I say, though I know it’s a lie. “Those three months we were on our own. We were fine. I mean, this isn’t gonna kill me” I add in that last part for good measure, mostly because I need to hear it.

I watch as Cassie’s eyes grow all big and sad. I never want to see her look like that ever again. It’s heartbreaking.

“We weren’t fine” she mutters. “We weren’t okay. I don’t even know why we went our separate ways” 

Now I know, at least I think I do. Was she as tormented as I was these past three months? Jones says something, but I barely hear him. Right now, it’s just her and me. The rest of the room doesn’t exist. 

Next thing I know her arms are around me, and everything stops. Instinctively, I pull her in close. Of all the things I was expecting when we talked, I wasn’t expecting this. Maybe it isn’t as complicated as I thought it was. Maybe we really are just ready to be more than friends. 

As I’m contemplating it all, she lets go, never breaking eye contact as she walks away from me. They say a picture’s worth a thousand words. Well, eyes are too, and I can read them all in hers. Forget a thousand words, there’re a thousand questions, and I’m finally ready to answer them all. 

“I’ll see you on the other side Cassie” I say. I smile, letting myself flirt with her once again. I want her to know in every way possible that I can’t wait to be alone with her again. 

“You better” she replies. Once again, we’re the only two in the room, smirking and flirting like a couple of love-struck teenagers. Man I can’t wait until this case is over. She looks real beautiful in that outfit today. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Chapter 3 coming ASAP.


	3. And the Broken Staff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra and Jake meet up after stopping the storm in New York, and finally get to be alone. Things start to heat up between the couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I looked this over and realized I accidentally wrote 7 pages. I think you'll like this chapter. Enjoy!

_**Cassandra**_  
It feels like it’s been hours when we return to the Library, though I know it’s only been about fifteen minutes. I burst through the door and I couldn’t be more relieved to see him sitting there. He’s okay. _He’s okay._

He stands up to speak before I can rush over and wrap my arms around him. He congratulates us on the save, although I don’t immediately realize that he was addressing everyone. Soon it’s just the two of us in conversation.

I’m rambling on about the math and science involved in stopping the storm. I know no one here understands what I’m talking about, except maybe Flynn. Around Jake though, I don’t seem to care, and he doesn’t say a word about it.

He, Jones and I walk off into another room, me still babbling, leaving Colonel Baird and Flynn behind us. Eventually we reach the next room, and Ezekiel reaches out his hand to stop me.

“As much as I love hearing a whole bunch of words I don’t understand” he says. “I’m awfully tired, and there’s a season of Agents of Shield in the theatre with my name on it!”

“Get some rest Jones” Jake says. I can tell it’s not just to get him out of the room. Whether he admits it or not, he cares about the kid.

“Feel free to join me at any time mates!” Ezekiel shouts as he jogs up the stairs. I shake my head. So much for him being tired.

Now there’s an awkward silence. The room is empty, save for the two of us. It’s the moment I’ve been waiting for all day, and now that it’s finally here, I have absolutely no idea what to do.

“So” I eventually settle for. “Hey”

“Hey” Jake replies. It’s only then that my eyes fall on the ice-pack he’s clutching in his right hand.

“Oh my god” I gasp. “You’re hurt!”

“Ah it’s nothing” he starts, but I know when he’s lying. Without thinking, I walk over and look down at the skin, covered with red marks and blisters.

“What did you do?” I shout.

“I may have gone to shake Jenkins’ hand, not thinking that he still had the metal suit on and I didn’t”

“We have to get this wrapped up Jake” I urge.

“Cassie really it’s not a big…”

I grab his other hand before he can finish the sentence and start dragging him away. If he thinks that after all of this, hell, even without all of this, if he thinks I’m just gonna let him suffer, then he’s really not as smart as I thought he was.

“Come on” I say. “I know where Jenkins keeps the first aid kit”

_**Jake**_  
Five minutes later I’m sitting on a stool with Cassie sitting across from me. She’s rummaging through the Library’s first aid kit, which I didn’t even know we had.

“Really Cassie” I insist. “It’s just a little burn. It’s not a big deal.”

“A _little_ burn?” she shouts. “Jacob your skin is blistering. Shut up and let me do what I know how to”

She doesn’t make eye contact with me as she continues to search. Finally she comes out with a bottle of something, and sprays it on my hand.

“Ah!” I exclaim, jumping back. That stung like a bitch.

“Sorry” she squirms. “I should’ve warned you”

She brings out an ointment next, and I feel my stomach leaping as she applies it to my hand. It’s the first time our skin has touched since that night. The feel of her drags my heart right back out of my chest.

“So, how’ve you been Cassie?” I ask, breaking the awkward silence that built again.

“Okay” she mutters. She doesn’t look me in the eye. “How about you?”

“Fine. I missed you”

“I guess we need to talk about that huh?”

“If you want to”

I could slap myself. The moment finally comes to tell her how I feel, and I act completely indifferent. _Brilliant Jake: that’s the way to let her know how you feel._

There’s silence for a moment while I hold my breath. I’m not sure she’s gonna say anything. Then, her voice breaks through.

“Well for starters” she says “I missed you too”

“You did?” I gasp. I don’t know why I’m so surprised. The way she talked to me before, I’m pretty sure I knew this, but to hear her say it outright still brings an intense warmth to my chest that has nothing to do with the sun exposure.

“Of course” she says. “Jake, that night in Peru, it wasn’t, I wasn’t…”

“A mistake?” I finish, hoping that I’m right in assuming that she’s thinking the same way I am.

“Yeah” She begins to wrap the cloth bandage around my hand. She doesn’t look at me, but I’m focused on her.

“Look” she continues. “That night, it was so crazy but, I feel like it was a long time coming. Not that I was planning it or anything I just mean, I’ve felt, for a long time and…”

I can tell she’s nervous, and I want her to feel safe. I want her to know that she doesn’t have to be scared, because I feel the same way. There’s probably better ways to do it, but I can’t resist her anymore.

My hand, the non-injured one, rises to brush away the curls that have fallen in front of her beautiful eyes. I lean in and meet her lips again, the lips that have filled my dreams for three months.

Kissing her is exactly like I remember: like I’ve just entered a fairytale and met my happily ever after, like home.

_**Cassandra**_  
He’s so stubborn sometimes, telling me that he’s not badly hurt. His skin’s been seared off, and he’s telling me that I don’t need to take care of him. Then again, he never likes to admit when he needs help. I’m sure that all this tension between us isn’t making it any better.

I rummage through the first aid kit on the table next to me, frantically looking for the things I need. I just don’t want him to hurt any longer than he needs to. I’m trying to patch him up so quickly, that I don’t think before spraying antiseptic on his hand. I don’t realize what the problem is until he shouts and jumps back.

“Sorry” I wince. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him.

There’s silence for a while as I apply the burn ointment. I feel my stomach drop. It’s Jake who’s been hurt, but my hands are the ones tingling.

“So, how’ve you been Cassie?”

Awful, missing him, losing sleep every night wondering where we stand, yet too afraid to pick up the phone: these are the things I should tell him.

“Okay” _Damnit_. Why is how I feel about him the only thing I can’t be honest with him about. “How about you?” I ask.

“Fine” he says. “I missed you”

My heart flutters. He missed me. Maybe he’s been feeling everything I have.

“I guess we need to talk about that huh?” I say.

“If you want to”

I freeze. _Do_ I want to? All day I’ve been waiting for this moment, this moment when we could be alone again. Now it’s here, and I’m terrified.

“I missed you too” I tell him, starting with an easy truth.

He sounds shocked, and he smiles, and suddenly the words pour out. I start to tell him everything. Kissing him was not a mistake, and _oh god_ did I really just tell him that I’ve wanted that to happen for a long time? I want to run out of the room. I’ve made myself sound so horribly desperate.

I stare at his hands as I wrap the bandage around one. All I can think about as I look at them is that night, and how those hands were holding me, and how they ran through my hair and under my shirt, and touched my bare skin.

I’m about to panic when suddenly, I feel the familiar caress of the hands. Jake pushes my hair out of my face, and then, all of a sudden, we’re kissing again.

Where our kiss in Peru was rushed and breathless, this one is slow and gentle. His hands move down to my shoulders, but naturally this time. I feel mine do the same and rest around his waist. Our lips do not press hard against each other, but simply and slowly intertwine. I can’t decide which kind of kissing I like better.

His lips taste just like they did the last time, minus the beer. My senses still go wild in all the same ways. If this is what I’ll experience every time I kiss him, I don’t think I’ll ever stop.

Ever so slowly, we part, and the room stops spinning. I let out a breath and smile, finally allowing myself to meet Jake’s eyes again. They’re big, and bright, and blue, and they’re staring me down in a look that I’ve finally let myself give into.

I don’t really know what’s supposed to come next now, and I don’t think he does either, so I tape his bandage closed and shut the first aid kit.

“Well” I whisper. “This was nice, but umm…like Jones said, it’s been a really long day and I’m really tired, so I think I ought to head home and get some sleep.”

“Yeah me too” Jake mutters. “But uh, I’ll see you tomorrow”

“I’ll see you tomorrow” I reply. I smile as I realize that the wonderful moments of saying hello to him each morning are about to become even better.

We both hop down from our seats, and as I stand from picking up my bag, Jake presses his lips against my cheek before winking at me and jogging away.

I giggle, but manage to keep myself contained until I walk through the backdoor to my apartment, where I stand still for a moment before I slide down the wall squealing.

_**Ezekiel**_  
It’s been a long day’s mission, but with Flynn gone again, none of us really want to go home and leave Baird alone. Well, I wouldn’t say none of us _want_ to. _I_ want to, but Stone and Cassandra are insisting on me staying here.

They keep telling me it’s “the right thing to do”. Since when have I done the right thing? I’m Ezekiel Jones: don’t they know that by now?! Besides, Baird went off to some other room ten minutes ago. She keeps saying she needs to be alone for a while. So, really it makes no sense that we’re still here.

According to my fellow Librarians though, it’s the “principle” of being here for her, that we need to stay just in case she does need us. If you ask me, we’ve got a back door that can get us here in five seconds if she needs us, but apparently that’s not good enough. According to Stone, “this is what friends do”

It’s not that I don’t care about Colonel Baird, I really do, but I’m tired! I just met up with everyone again after a long time alone, we’ve only just started sorting out the problems from Peru, and we’ve been running around non-stop for two days straight! I got four hours of sleep last night. Ezekiel Jones wants to take a nap.

I suppose I could take a nap here, and I’ve thought about it, but I’m talking to Stone and Cassandra, and for some reason it feels wrong to leave them again so soon after everything happened, even if I’m just going to my room. We all have rooms here in case the back door breaks or something and we need a place to sleep.

Anyway, we’re all standing in the middle of the annex. Cassandra’s rambling on about some science thing, when she fumbles on some of her words. The situation recaptures my attention, because Cassandra’s laugh is loud. That’s what makes me look at them, but something else keeps my attention there.

Stone punches her playfully in the arm while she’s giggling on about her mess up. Then, he’s laughing too, and she’s laughing more, and they’re both just smiling some more. If this is what I think it is, I don’t have the stamina to deal with it right now. Screw that, I don’t care if they’re just punch-drunk, I’m out of here. Ezekiel Jones needs his beauty-sleep. It’s not easy looking this charming.

_**Jake**_  
We’re in my apartment, on the couch, and Cassandra and I are making out again. At least this time it was planned. Well, technically, the plan was to come here and watch the movie that we stopped paying attention to ten minutes ago.

Cassie presses kisses up and down my neck and sends chills through my entire body. Her curls fall down and tickle my face. It’s not something I would have expected to turn me on, but quite honestly, everything about Cassandra does.

I finally manage to finish untucking her blouse from her skirt and then I get to run my hands across her back again. Her skin is just a soft as I remember, and touching it again sends another shiver through my bones.

Our lips meet again and she leans forward, pushing me to lie down on the couch. Her hands are through my hair, her nails tickling my scalp. My hands run slowly down her back until, on top of her skirt now, they’ve found their way to her butt.

We’re still kissing, moving faster and faster until everything stops short. Cassie pulls away, and lets out a breath.

“Jake wait” she says, sitting back up. “What are we doing?”

I lift myself back up to meet her, confused. Five seconds ago she was on top of me and egging me on, and now she’s holding back. I’m worried I scared her. Maybe it was all too fast.

“What do you mean?” I ask “What’s wrong darlin’?” The fear rushes through me that I’ve taken advantage of her, that not only have I ruined this, but worse, that I’ve hurt her.

“Nothing” she sighs. “It’s just, we haven’t even totally talked about how we feel or what we want, and now we’re here making out on your couch again. Why can’t it ever be my couch?!”

“You want to go to your place?” I ask. I’m not sure what she’s saying. If the location has some bearing on our relationship, then I’ll gladly move in an instant, but she didn’t protest when we started.

“No!” she exclaims, sounding frustrated. “That’s not the point, what I mean is…what’s going on here? Is making out on your couch all it’s ever gonna be? Are we dating or are we just booty calling or what?!”

She’s rambling and I put my hand on her shoulder to cut her off. I get what she’s saying. We haven’t talked about anything at all, except for the fact that neither of us regretted the instance in Peru. We have to, but I don’t wanna rush things.

“I don’t know what this is either” I say, looking her right in the eye. “We get to figure that out together, but until we do, I think the kissing is real nice”

Cassie flashes me a sexy little smile again. Clearly I’ve said the right thing.

“Okay” she whispers, then leans forward to kiss me again and for some reason, I push her back.

“What?!” she questions.

“Well” I say. “Like I said, the kissing _is_ real nice, but I thought it would also be nice to just cuddle for a while and maybe actually watch the movie that’s playing over there”

“Jake!” she sighs. “I told you, the point is not actually to watch the Netflix!”

“I know what it means Cassie. I’m not living under a rock!”

“Then what?”

I hesitate. I’ve always been vulnerable around her, but this is a whole new kind of situation. Now we’re in some sort of relationship, whatever it is, and that alone brings a whole new layer of vulnerability, Add to that the fact that this is the most important romantic encounter I’ve ever had, and suddenly I feel completely naked, and not in the way I thought I was going to be.

I want to tell her how special she is, that after only one kiss I knew I wanted this thing to go all the way, but I don’t know how to say it without seeming too forward.

“The kissing is nice Cassie” I repeat “But just being with you is nice too and, well, I want this thing to last a long time, so I don’t wanna rush it. We gotta let ourselves evolve you know? We need milestones. You mean too much to me to just treat this like a fling”

Cassie’s staring at me intently. She looks as if she might start crying and I hold my breath, but I know I’ve said the right thing when she scooches closer to me and leans her head on my shoulder.

I smile and wrap my arm around her. This just makes her snuggle in closer, and I kiss her on the head. She picks up the remote and starts rewinding the movie

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Well, we haven’t really seen any of the movie yet, and you’re right: the cuddling is really nice, and I want it to last a while. So I want there to be more movie for us to cuddle during.”

“Sounds alright with me” I chuckle, and pull her closer to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sigh* The things I had to put myself through to write that last section. I hope you liked it. Also, if you;re wondering, the scene in Ezekiel's POV was most definitely inspired by the gag reel. See you next time LITs! Hope you liked the chapter.


	4. And What Lies Beneath the Stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Cassandra are trying to figure out what exactly their relationship is, but an unexpected encounter in Oklahoma doesn't make it any easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This author has never tried, nor does she ever intend on trying Turkey Bacon. The views expressed on it here are solely the views of the characters that felt appropriate, and are not endorsed by the author herself.

_**Cassandra**_  
I wake up to find myself on my couch, still snuggled in Jake’s arms. It’s been a week since everything began, and every night since has ended at one of our places. We must’ve fallen asleep last night watching TV. 

I smile. I love these moments, just laying here with his arms wrapped tightly around me. He’s always warm, and he makes me feel warm inside too. It’s a wonder I haven’t fallen asleep every night, because nothing is more comfortable than his embrace. 

These are the most wonderful moments, the two of us quietly together. Not that I’m discounting the making out. That part is quite wonderful; being alone in Jake’s arms though is what I really dreamt about for months. Kissing him lets me explore all kinds of feelings I was never aware of, but cuddling with him lets me express the ones I always knew were there. In these special little snapshots of time, I feel pure affection strong and alive. 

Quietly, and carefully so as not to wake him, I slip off the couch. I hate leaving, but we’ve got to be at work in an hour, and I think it would be nice to surprise him with some breakfast. 

Ten minutes later I’ve got bacon frying in the pan and the coffee has just finished boiling. One of the smells must wake him, because next thing I know, I’m met with a soft hug from behind. I stumble and laugh, caught off guard as he buries his head in my shoulder. 

“Get off!” I joke, pushing him off, though I desperately want him to stay. He doesn’t leave of course; he just stays there, wrapped around me, preventing my arms from moving. 

“You’re going to make me burn the bacon!” I scold, though all I’m doing is laughing more. It’s not hard for me to picture every morning starting like this. If this could be every morning of my life, then however much life I got would be enough to leave me happy. 

“You didn’t have to cook me breakfast” Jake says. “You should’ve let me do that”  
“Well I didn’t really know what you’re supposed to do when someone spends the night, and besides, you’re at _my_ house; I’m not going to make you cook!”

He leans closer to the pan, still hanging on me, and sniffs the fumes coming from the pan. 

“Is that turkey bacon?” he asks. 

Finally something wakes him up. As much as I love the flirty stupor, we do have to be at work in some short amount of time, and we still need to eat, shower, and get dressed. The luxury we took of cuddling this morning eliminates that of taking it slow.

“Yes” I answer. “It’s better for you.” 

“ _Turkey_ bacon? _Really_ Cassie?”

“Don’t knock it till you try it.” I grab a piece from the dish next to me that’s already cooked, and shove it into his mouth. 

Just as I expected, he’s reluctant at first, but I watch his face change as he chews. His big blue eyes widen, and a smile crosses his face.

“Hey that’s good!” he exclaims. I simply nod my head. I think I’ve won my way out of the cuddling, and I’m about to make some sassy remark about him listening to me, when suddenly, I feel his arms wrap around me more tightly then they had before, this time grabbing me by the waist. 

“That’s really good!” he continues. “My girl’s a good cook!” I squeal with laughter as he lifts me up into the air, before what he just said hits me. Suddenly I freeze up. 

_My gir_ l. That’s what he just called me. I’m his girl. I don’t know what I’m feeling, but it’s presenting like fear. Maybe it is. He’s never used those words before. 

Jake must notice my change in stature, because he places me down on the ground and stares right at me.

“Cassie?” he asks, all the playfulness gone from his voice. “What’s wrong are you alright?”

“I’m fine” I stammer. “It’s just…you called me your girl. You’ve never called me that before” 

“Oh” he says. I can see his chest relax as he releases a breath. “You scared me when you froze up all suddenly like that”

I feel awful immediately. He must’ve been terrified. He’s still staring me down, so I grab his hands. 

“I’m sorry Jacob. I didn’t mean to…I’m okay. Relax. You just startled me was all”

“Well then I’m sorry too” he says. “But you _are_ my girl, and I guess it just felt really good to finally say that” 

He scoops me up in his arms again and kisses my head. We’re back to normal again: he’s cuddling, I’m laughing, and there’s lots of kissing. I’m his girl: I could most definitely live with that. 

_**Jake**_  
I’m still not sure what to call this thing that’s happening between me and Cassie. I’m not sure I can call it romance, though that’s what I want. We’re just meeting up every night after work and making out. Sorta like friends with benefits I guess. Although, we haven’t gone “all the way” yet, but at the same time we haven’t even been on a real date: hence my confusion. 

I’ve always had feelings for Cassie, for as long as I’ve known her, and I’ve always been protective of her too. Since we started seeing each other though, it’s gotten more intense. I don’t even realize just _how_ protective I’ve become, until I remember that about a week ago I did some research on seizures, just so that I knew what to do if something happened while we were together. I remember reading that sometimes a seizure can be hard to recognize, that it could just look like blanking out. So, when Cassie’s been laughing in my arms and then suddenly freezes up, I’m terrified. 

Turns out she was just taken aback by me calling her my girl. I guess I’m startled too. It came out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. All of a sudden she’s laughing again though. Maybe this is more of a romance than I thought. 

The feeling only grows later that day. I’m working on my latest paper in the annex, and she brings me coffee. 

“I brought you some more fuel” she says, with that signature playful smirk of hers. We’re alone for now; everyone else is in another room, so we can treat it like we were back at one of our apartments. 

She asks me to see my paper, and to my surprise, I don’t hesitate long. That’s what’s so wonderful about this whole thing: I can share anything with her. I’ve had girlfriends before, sure, but even with the ones that got real serious, I never told them about my real self. I couldn’t; I wasn’t brave enough. With Cassie it’s different; even when we were just friends, I could tell her all about who I was without any struggle. Now it’s grown even more. All of a sudden I’m showing her my papers, and we’re talking about how I write, and what I do. 

It feels like the whole annex is ours right now. It’s silent, save for our voices, and we’re just chatting while we work. This is what couple’s do isn’t it? So are we a couple? I’m not sure, but whatever we are, I’ve never been happier. 

_**Ezekiel**_  
I’m walking down to the annex from the theatre to grab Stone and Cassandra when I hear them talking. I freeze where I’m standing, making sure they can’t see or hear me. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to do some good eavesdropping. 

I peer over the edge of the railing. Cassandra’s back is to me, but I can see Jake giving her goo-goo eyes. What is with these two? If they weren’t my friends, I’d slap them. Maybe I should slap them anyway. Even if there’s not a slap, after everything in the Library calms down, some people are going to need a stern talking to. 

A minute later, and all of a sudden the conversations gone all sappy: _barf_. Time for me to intrude. After all, the whole reason I came down here was to get these two to watch horror movies with me. 

_**Cassandra**_  
So Jake’s father is _interesting_. We haven’t been here long, and I’ve seen him change completely. The man I’m in Oklahoma with is not the same man I woke up with this morning. My heart’s breaking, because I realize this was his life before the Library. For decades, he had to live with this torture. 

I get to see the normal him for a few moments when we’re getting into his father’s truck. Ezekiel is by the back with Isaac, so we’re left alone to get in the car. 

“I could get in the back with Jones” I suggest. “It seems like it would be a tight squeeze up here with all three of us”

“Three people usually sit up front in a truck Cassie” _Cassie_ : At least he hasn’t lost that, despite how cold his voice sounds. Suddenly though, it softens. “Besides, if I have to be close to my father, it’d make me feel better to have you there too.” 

I smile and rub my hand up and down his arm; I know he hates being vulnerable. I can’t even imagine what he must be going through. If I met my parents in front of him, I don’t know what I’d become. 

He smiles, however slightly, and gives me his hand to hoist me into the truck. Once I’m settled, he climbs in next to me and shuts the door. 

“You know” I say, trying to savor the few moments we have alone. “With Jones in the back, we don’t have to pretend like we’re still just friends” I lean in to plant one on him, but he pushes me away. Back to the coldness I guess. 

“I don’t want any more questions than what’s needed from my pop” he explains. “Besides, he’ll make some crude remark, and Jones’ll hear it, and I don’t want you to be subject to that anyway.”

“I’m just trying to help you through this Jacob”

“I know, but you’ll be doing that just by sitting next to me” There’s my Jacob again. He keeps flashing back for seconds at a time. He places a quick kiss on my cheek and I smile before Isaac walks towards the front seat, and we have to put on our mask again. 

_**Jake**_  
I don’t let myself drink much, as a rule. I’ll go for a beer, that’s about it. After watching my father dig himself into a hole, I don’t want to take any chances. I don’t drink when I’m upset; I’ve seen too closely how quickly one glass of whiskey while you’re frustrated can lead to beating people up in a drunken stupor. When Cassandra puts me down though, out of the blue, I can’t stop myself from running to the nearest bar, even though I know I should be focusing on the case. 

She sounded like she hated me. Quite honestly, I can’t blame her; I haven’t been acting like someone worthy of her since we got here. Why have I let my pop affect me like this? I’m not supposed to be this person anymore; the Library took that part out of me, at least I thought it did. 

Everything Cassandra said was true, I just never expected any of it to come from her. Since I’ve known her, I’ve done things worthy of hatred plenty of times, but she never gave in; she never greeted me with anything less than a smile, never treated me like anything less than a best friend. It’s one of the things I adore about her: her undying faith in people, or rather, her undying faith in me. To think that I’ve gone and ruined that within a few hours’ time is a thought that I can’t bear. I guess that’s what led me to here: sitting on a barstool shooting down whiskey like my old man. 

I ruined everything. I finally had a perfect little thing going, and I went and ruined it. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I’m angry at myself and, although I know I shouldn’t be, I’m angry at her. How could she do this to me? When did she turn into someone who talks to people like that? After everything we’ve been through, why would she just leave me? 

_**Cassandra** _

As soon as Jones is gone, the last one to leave the annex, I jump on Jake and wrap my arms around him; it’s all I’ve wanted to do all day. I couldn’t bear for much longer to watch him so pained and to not be able to do anything about it. Today was difficult for all of us, but Jake had to face it all in front of his father. All I wanted all day was the power to take all of his pain away. 

We don’t move for a short while; we just stand there and hold each other. Neither of us says a word, and the silence is strangely calming. I can sense his hurt in the way he’s squeezing me, in the way he holds himself as I squeeze him. Tears build up in my eyes.

After what feels like minutes, Jake pulls himself away from me. It looks like he’s started to tear as well.

“I’m so sorry Jacob” I cry. “I can’t even imagine. If we had met my parents today... I just wanted to be there for you and I couldn’t.” 

“No” he assures me. “Don’t feel bad Cassie, you did everything you could. Today was good for me in the end; I finally learned to really stop caring about what my old man thinks. I’m real sorry I snapped at you in the bar. I should’ve known it wasn’t you when Holkolnote tricked me. I was too wrapped up in my own problems to make the connection”

“Stop apologizing” I urge. I don’t want him to feel like he’s done anything wrong. I don’t ever want to be the source of any of his pain. I reach down and grab his hand. “Let’s just go home and forget everything. Okay?”

He smiles shyly then leans down to kiss me. We never let go of each other’s grasp as we walk out the annex door. 

_**Jake**_  
There’s something that’s been eating at me ever since Cassie said it, and by the time we’re back in her apartment that night, I can’t ignore it anymore. 

“Cassie” I say, hesitating. We’re so comfortable now, and I know she wants nothing more than to carry on as normal. I want that too, but you can’t always ignore everything that upsets you. I learned today that you have to learn how to face things head on. “We need to talk”

“Jake” she sighs. “I already told you on the way here that I don’t wanna talk about choosing my death day”

“That’s not what I meant, though I do wanna get to that at some point.” I turn on the couch to face her and place my hands gently on top of hers. “Cassie back there you said you knew I thought you were sick” She looks down and I feel like I’ve said the wrong thing. 

“It’s nothing Jake” she insists, but she won’t meet my eyes. “It’s not important anymore” 

“If it’s about us, if I did _anything_ to upset you it’s important” 

“It’s not important, because we _are_ us.” 

“Cassie…” She’s trying to push away from me, and I want to give in and just forget any of this ever happened, but if I know one thing about relationships, it’s that they’re hard. If we don’t talk about this now, we never will, and what’s hard now will only get worse. 

“Before Peru, before we split up, I already had feelings for you” she speaks softly, and she’ll barely meet my eyes. “I had feelings for you for a long time” I try not to smile too much at that. Cassie continues. 

“I never acted on it, because I thought there was no point. I thought that even if you liked me, which I doubted you did, that you wouldn’t want to risk being with me because I was sick, because I would just let you down again and break your heart.”

“Cassie...” I try to interrupt her. I never gave thought to how her cancer made her feel about relationships or our relationship in particular. I can only hope that I never did anything specific to make her think the way she did, or the way she does. We’re still not clear on that. She cuts me off. _Oh God_ ; there’s more. 

“And more than that I thought you’d never want to be with me because you were always trying to protect me. I thought you saw me as just that: someone to protect. I figured I was like a sister to you, or a patient.” 

She turns her head from me and I see her reach up her hand to wipe tears from her eyes. I don’t know whether to reach for her or let her be. I can hear her quiet cries now, but I’m not sure if she still has more to say. 

“Is that it?” I whisper. She nods her head softly. 

“Cassandra darlin’” I move in closer to her, grabbing her hands again. I try to get her to look at me, but she’s still just staring at the couch cushion. 

“I would be the last person on this earth to see nothing of you but your sickness. I’m sorry if I ever did anything, or said anything to make you think I did. You are a beautiful soul Cassie: I’ve known that since the day I met you. Yes I wanted to protect you but it was because I cared about you so much. I didn’t want that part of you to ever overtake you, because I know it isn’t who you are.” I grab her chin and turn her head so that she’ll meet my eyes again. Hers are still filled with tears, but they’re big and blue as ever, staring at me hopefully. 

“You are a beautiful, strong woman who doesn’t let anyone treat her as anything less than what she is. You’re a mathematician, and a scientist, and a synesthete, and you’re a kind, caring, selfless soul. You love old family movies, and you drive around blasting your favorite songs and singing along with the windows rolled down. You like to read, and wear little pins on your clothes, and eat turkey bacon for breakfast, and you love Christmas. That’s what I see, _who_ I see. Not cancer, not sickness, _Cassandra_ ”

It takes her a moment, and I’m scared. Pouring out your heart could always go two ways. Before I know it though, she’s smiling, and she leans in and kisses me. It’s quick and forceful, but not at all sexual. It’s a kiss with promise. It’s a seal of how we feel about each other. 

“Thank you” she mutters. “For making me talk about it, but really, can we _please_ just watch a movie now?”

“Yes” I agree. 

“Great!” She jumps off the couch and runs to her movie shelf, finally her old self again. I laugh: there’s the girl I just described. She returns holding something behind her back, with a sneaky grin on her face. 

“I think I know what we should watch” she coos. 

“What’s that?” She pulls out the disk from behind her back and I sigh. 

“ _Oklahoma_ Cass? Really?” She bursts into a fit of laughter, and I can’t help but laugh too. 

“I love _Oh What a Beautiful Morning_ as much as the next guy, but can we just go with something else for now?”

She giggles at me and goes back to the shelves to browse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah sorry for the wait, but this chapter was painful to write. I had to rewatch all the painful parts of the episode, and explore them and just....owwwe


	5. And The Cost of Education

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Cassandra's relationship only grows as they face a hard time during one case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone for a while! I just spent the past 2 and a half months binge watching West Wing and it's been 3 days and I'm not even remotely over it, so even when I finished writing this I was too in TV hangover mode to get it up. But it's here now. Enjoy!

**_Cassandra_ **

            I wake up and stretch. The bright glow of morning is bearing down on my eyes. I roll over and look at the bed next to me: empty. Jake must be awake already. We’ve spent a few nights at each others apartments, though not in the usual way. Everything’s been very innocent so far. We just sleep in the same bed, both of us with pajamas on. No matter what is and isn’t happening, I love waking up next to him.

Slowly, I slip out of bed and into my slippers sitting on the floor. I shuffle to the kitchen, where I can already smell the coffee brewing. I watch Jake from the doorway, doing a little dance as he works at the pan. I try to stay silent, so he doesn’t know I’m there. When he does a little salsa step after flipping a pancake though, I can’t help but giggle.

He freezes and I laugh harder as I know he’s noticed me.

“Good morning” I chime.

Jake turns around and he’s red in the face.

“How much of that did you see?” he stutters.

“Enough for me to think it was absolutely adorable.”

I walk over and place myself in his arms, then look up into his big blue eyes as we talk. He holds me close, and everything feels natural. If I’ve ever had anything close to a home, this is it.

“I’m making blueberry pancakes” he whispers.

“Sounds perfect” I stretch up onto my toes and plant a quick kiss on his lips.

“I’m going to go get dressed while you finish cooking” I say. “We’ve got work in an hour. Baird texted me: there’s a case today”

**_Jake_ **

We arrive at the Library, Cassandra sitting as close to me as she safely can while I’m driving the truck .When I pull into my parking spot, neither of us moves to open a door. We simply stare up at the building.

“Do we really have to go in?” Cassandra sighs.

“I thought you love working here!” I argue.

“I do, but I don’t want to have to pretend like I’m not with you.”

“I know” I sigh. “But we both agreed that it’s better to keep this just between us for now.”

“I know, but I miss you. Whole work days where I don’t even get to hold your hand” She turns herself in the seat and leans her head back onto me playfully. “It’s torture”

“You think I don’t know that?” I insist. She laughs and sits up again. I love her laugh.

“Come on then” she whines, reaching for the door. “Let’s go before Baird has a cow. We’re already five minutes late”

“Wait” I grab her arm and pull her towards me before planting a kiss on her. Like she said, it’s torture going a whole day without being intimate, and there’s no way I’m starting our day without one last thing to keep me going.

She lets out a breath as we part and we share one last smile. I reach for the door, but before I know it, she’s grabbed me and pulled me towards her again.

“Alright Cassie we really gotta go now” I argue.

“One quick one!” she insists. She grabs my face and presses her lips against mine. Even when it’s rushed, her kiss makes my insides flood with life, and the feeling of everything I’ve ever dreamed of coming true. She pulls away and I stare at her questioningly.

“For good luck” she explains. There’s more staring, and then laughing, until finally I kiss her on the head and open the truck door.

Being with Cassie is wonderful, and honestly, just fun. There’s never a time we’re together when we both don’t laugh, or smile, or just act carefree. It’s really like having a relationship with my best friend.

**_Cassandra_ **

            I walk into the lounge where Jake and Ezekiel were waiting after the incident at Wexler. Immediately Jake runs to me and scoops me up in his arms. I squeeze him tightly. He’s got a hold on me, and it doesn’t feel like he wants to let go anytime soon.

“You terrified me today” he whispers. It sounds like he’s been crying. I immediately feel guilty. I didn’t want to hurt him.

“I’m sorry” I whisper back.

With the way the day started, I never expected it to grow this emotionally taxing. I guess that always has to be expected at the Library.

I almost forget that we’re not alone until Ezekiel clears his throat behind us. I push away from Jake and wipe the tears from my eyes.

“You alright Red?” Ezekiel asks. I’ve never heard him sound like that: humbled, scared. I guess I affected everyone with my little stunt today. I’m so unfamiliar with people liking me, or even just caring about me, that I forget my actions have emotional repercussions for the people around me.

“I’m fine” I sniffle. “Thank you”

I see his arms move out shakily, and he hesitates to approach me. I immediately rush forward and wrap my arms around him. Slowly, almost like I took him off guard, he returns the gesture. I smile. I may be in a relationship with Jake, but Ezekiel is like my best friend too.

The hug with him is shorter. Before too long I’m standing in the middle of the room, one of the guys on each side of me. I feel safe here: I’ve got my best boys with me.

“Well uh…I ought to get going. I’m tired” Ezekiel says quietly. He acknowledges us with a nod, then turns and leaves.

After we’re sure he’s long gone, Jake moves over and wraps his arm around my waist.

“Come on” he whispers. “Let’s get going”

I lean my head on his shoulder as we walk away, sinking into the comfort of him. It’s been a long, hard day, but with Jake next to me, I know I shouldn’t have too much trouble feeling better.

**_Jake_ **

I pull my truck up to the curb at Cassandra’s apartment. I’ve driven with one hand on the wheel the entire drive, not wanting to let go of her. I don’t even want to leave her now, but after today, she deserves a good rest.

“Come on” I say, shifting the car into park and pulling Cassie towards the door. “I’ll walk you inside”

Once we’re in Cassie’s apartment, she immediately throws down her bag and falls onto the couch.

“Don’t I get a kiss goodnight?” I ask jokingly.

“You’re leaving?” she sounds upset.

“Well I thought you’d want some sleep” I explain. “But if you don’t want me to leave I won’t go”

“Sit next to me” Cassandra whispers.

I take off my jacket as I move to the couch and put my arm around her as I sink into her soft pink sofa. She cuddles up to me and pulls her feet onto the couch. Finally: home sweet home.

“I’m sorry about today Jake” she cries “I shouldn’t have scared you like that”

“What?!” I question, sitting up sharply. She stares at me, and I see the guilt in her eyes that I’ve caused before, the guilt that gives me my own guilt when I see it.

“What are you talking about? You stood up for what’s right today. I was so proud of you”

“But you were crying”

“Well Cassie, I was awful scared” I shift uncomfortably. For all my talk of wanting her to be open with me, I’ve always been afraid to approach this subject. It’s gotta come up eventually though, and now seems like an appropriate time.

“I thought I was gonna lose you to that thing. Even if we weren’t together, I’d have been terrified; you saw Jones.” I grab her hand “I know losing you is always a possibility, and that paralyzes me enough, but at least I’m prepared for that if it comes”

“ _When_ it comes Jacob” she corrects me.

“Well I’m saying ‘if’ cause I’m still optimistic alright? Point is Cassie, I can’t bear the thought of losing you in any way, and today it almost happened suddenly. There was no pre-existing condition, no real warning. You could’ve been gone in a flash, and that would’ve destroyed me. Romantically involved or not, I can’t fathom the idea of not seeing you every day Cass”

She looks up at me and soon leans in for the kiss. I lean in to follow. This time it isn’t rushed or feverish. It’s real, and raw, and full of new kinds of revelations, just like our kiss after the storm in New York. It’s romantic.

She smells like fresh cut grass, just like from the campus we were at all day. Her hair tickles my cheeks, just in the way I love, but this time I push it out of the way, just to feel it. Her hands are around my neck, holding on tight now. Wherever we started, everything’s speeding up now.

She throws her sweater off as she continues to press her strawberry-chap stick flavored lips against mine. I kick my boots off and she does the same. Soon we’re standing up, and we’re on our way down the hall.

Cassie pushes her bedroom door open with her back, then kicks it closed as I pick her up and lift her towards the bed. She starts to unbutton my shirt and runs her hands down my chest as she does so, triggering every sensation in my frame.

As my hands move around her back I find her bra, and unclasp it from under her blouse. She moves to her knees and starts to unbutton her own top. My eyes stay focused on her, waiting until I can start kissing her again.

It’s just like every other time we made out, starting with that one in Peru. Only now, I know, and I think she does too, that we’re in too deep to let fear take over. This time, we don’t stop.  We don’t hesitate. Our bodies slowly entwine more and more. We stay that way, totally focused on each other and for once, we don’t slow down.


	6. Hookey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Cassandra confront their options when they wake up 30 minutes before they're supposed to be at the library

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter takes place in between episodes 4 and 5. Its picking up the morning after episode 4, right where the last chapter left off. Enjoy!

**_Cassandra_ **

            I wake up and look over at the side of the bed next to me. I can’t help it: a huge smile crosses my face; Jake is lying next to me, presumably still fast asleep. I can’t believe that happened, but it did, and it’s the morning after, and I feel like I’m at home.

Slowly, and being careful to keep the covers held up to my shoulders, I shift up to a sitting position. My head finds something soft on the backboard. I look up and see my camisole. _That’s right_. That’s where it got thrown. I giggle, while still trying my best to be quiet, and reach for it.

As I’m slipping the shirt back on, I hear a grunt next to me and feel the mattress shift. Jake turns over to see me, and a soft grin falls across his face.

“Hey” he whispers.

“Hi” I breathe, trying not to burst. I spent the night with Jacob Stone, and it wasn’t scary or nerve-wracking, or anything of the sort. It all just happened so naturally. It felt so _right_.

“So…that happened” He echoes my thoughts with a goofy grin on his face. It’s only the first time, and I already feel like I want to see that smile as often as possible.

“Yes it did” I smile back. With all the TV shows and the movies, I expected this part to be awkward, to have both of us worrying the other regretted it, but that’s not what’s happening here. We both just seem so, well, _happy._

“What time is it?” Jake grunts

I laugh and roll over to look at my alarm clock when all the joking expression leaves my face for a moment. Jake rolls over and leans on me playfully, clearly not realizing that I’m suddenly serious.

“What’s wrong baby?” he asks.

“Jake we’re supposed to be at work in a half an hour.”

I’m mortified. There’s no way both of us can get showered and dressed and fed and over to the Library in 30 minutes. There’s also the matter of Jacob not having a change of clothes. Slowly though, I find myself starting to laugh again. It’s just all so _funny_ : I’m going to be late for work because I overslept with Jake. There’s something I never thought I’d get to say.

Jake starts laughing too and we fall back onto the bed. He scoots over closer to me and places a kiss on my scalp.

“You know” he suggests “We could just call in sick”

“What?” I gasp.

“Yeah _come on_ ; what’s one day? If the clippings book had something too serious going on, we would’ve heard it from our personal ones by now.” He’s begging me like a pathetic little puppy: it’s a side to him I’ve never seen, and one I can’t decide how I feel about.

“Jake I’ve never played hooky in my entire life! Not even in pre-school”

“Does it really count as hooky if you’re not in school?”

“That’s not the point!”

Jake stares at me and puffs up his bottom lip. Okay, now he’s just _trying_ to look ridiculous. I can’t help it; he’s adorable. I roll over closer to him and grab his chin in my hands before pressing my lips to his fat ones. He exhales with a smile and rolls us over back to my side of the bed.

“Okay okay” I laugh. “Time out. We actually need to _call_ Baird if we’re going to do this.”

Jake lets out a sigh and falls back on his side of the bed, throwing out his arms to the side. I laugh hysterically again. After calming myself down to avoid suspicion, I roll over to the nightstand and grab the phone.

The other line rings a few times before I hear the click of the picked-up receiver.

“Hello?” Baird says

“Hey Baird!” Jake pokes my back, trying to make me laugh. I giggle slightly and turn around to slap him. It’s his own plan and he’s going to ruin it for us both.

“What’s up Cassandra?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I can’t be in today. I’m not feeling well”

“You sound okay” _Shoot_. This all being new to me, I didn’t think to make myself sound sick. I turn to Jake for a hint on what to do. He’s snickering. _The jerk_ : he’s finding this whole struggle _hysterical_ isn’t he? Quickly I put together a way to fix this.

“Yeah I’m feeling a little better at the moment, but I threw up like 3 times last night. My stomach’s still a little iffy, so I don’t want to take any chances”

“Oh alright” Baird says sweetly. Thank God. She bought it. “Feel better Red”

“Thanks. See you tomorrow!”

I hang up the phone and release a sigh of relief. Jake has let himself burst into a fit of laughter, now unhindered by the possibility of Baird hearing him. I turn and slap him.

“Don’t laugh!” I scold. “This is the most I’ve misbehaved in my entire life!”

“What about last night?” he swaggers, staring me down with flirtatious eyes. I slap him, though he’s still making me laugh.

He presses his lips to mine again, but I force myself to push him off.

“Come on” I urge. “Call Baird so we can go back to sleep, which I thought was the whole point of staying home!!”

“I have to wait ten or fifteen minutes to call Baird or she’s gonna be suspicious!”

“Fine. Then I’ll wait with you for ten minutes” I reach over into my side-table drawer and pull out the book I’ve been reading. I try not to giggle from behind the pages. I’ve never played hard to get before. It’s kind of fun.

“Please Cassie” He’s whining like some kind of puppy dog. I sigh. I guess I’ll have to give up this act eventually. Although, I didn’t lie; I am tired.

I look over at him and flash a big smile. He looks shocked as he realizes what just happened, but soon he’s laughing and rolling over to me. I lean my head back and sigh happily as he kisses my neck. Nope; I don’t regret skipping work at all.

**_Jake_ **

            My girl is a little sneak. I never expected Cassie to be the “hard to get” flirting type. She really had me going for a while.

Once I’ve realized it though, I’m over to her right away. Just being near her, before anything even happens, brings me more pleasure than I’ve ever felt in any other relationship. She smiles at me, puts her arms around my waist, and pulls me closer. One look at her bright blue eyes and I’m drawn right in.

I’m kissing her neck when I hear my phone ringing from my side of the bed. I groan and Cassandra starts laughing hysterically. I glare at her. She yelled at me for laughing before, and now look at her. I shake my head and rush to answer the phone. One look at the caller ID centers my attention.

“It’s Baird” I say to her. “Shhh!”

I run out of the bedroom and pull the door closed behind me, trying to get far away from any excess noise. After taking a second to gather myself, I hold my breath and answer the phone.

“Hello?” I moan, letting myself sound exhausted and stuffed.

“Hey Stone, could you check on Cassandra on your way here?” Baird jumps in, totally oblivious to my sickened tone. “She called in sick this morning, said she was throwing up, but it sounded a little weird. I don’t think she’d skip out or anything, but I just wanna make sure there wasn’t something more she wasn’t telling me.”

“Jeez Baird I would” I grumble, sucking in all my breath to imitate a sound of congestion. “But I’m not feeling too hot either. I was just about to call ya. I woke up all stuffed, and my throat hurts so much I can hardly talk”

“Oh God Stone you too?”

“Yeah” _Cough Cough._ Always need a few extra elements for good measure. “I can call Cassandra. If anything’s up, I’ll get her to tell me”

“Alright thanks, just let me know. Feel better”

“Thanks” I start to hack up a lung before I hang up the phone. I smile as I slip it back into my pocket. It’s been decades since highschool and I still got it.

I tiptoe back into the bedroom, ready to continue our morning “activities”. I sneak towards the bed, and there’s Cassandra, curled up in a ball, fast asleep. Part of me wants to wake her, but she’s so cute like that, and, man I’m exhausted too.

I pull the covers up over her and climb back onto my side of the bed. I turn off the light and place a quick kiss on her forehead. With that, she rolls over and cuddles into my chest. I wrap my arm around her, close my eyes, and breath out; _Peace_ : that’s what this is. It’s the word I’ve been searching for to describe this whole thing that I could never find, and it’s what I’ve been craving my whole life.

**_Eve_ **

It’s not that I think Cassandra would skip work, I know she wouldn’t, but she’s not a very good liar. I knew right away that something else was up beside a stomach bug. If she hadn’t told me already, she wouldn’t, but I know she’ll probably open up to Stone if he asked. The two of them seem to have some sort of connection. I don’t know what it is that gets them to be so honest with each other, but I take advantage of it when I need to.

So I’m paranoid. What do you want from me? I worry about Cassandra, more than I probably should. I know she’s okay, and that if anything serious was going on she’d tell me, but it’s just the idea that something could happen, at any time. She’s like a little sister to me, and I don’t ever want to see her hurt, and there’s nothing I can do to protect her should the danger in her life return.

So I call Stone. I just want him to drop by and make sure she’s okay is all. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it really is just a nasty stomach bug. Of course, when I call Stone, he’s sick too. I’ve never heard him like this. He can barely talk to me; he sounds like hell. _Strange_ : he seemed fine to me yesterday.

While I’m contemplating all the madness going on with the Librarians today, Jones comes strutting into the annex.

“Looks like it’s just you and me today Jones” I say.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Stone and Cassandra are sick. Hopefully no giant case turns up.”

“Sick? Both of them?” He almost sounds like he’s laughing. I know I tell him not to change but sometimes you can’t help but wonder what’s _wrong_ with that kid.

“Yes” I reply. “Cassandra’s got a stomach bug and Stone’s got a cold”

He smiles into the distance and shakes his head before turning and walking away. What the hell is going on today? Is it a full moon or something? Whatever; I have work to do. I’ll have to try and sort out all of this confusion over lunch.

**_Ezekiel_ **

So Cassandra and Stone are _sick_ , huh? I can’t help but laugh when Baird tells me. That’s the oldest trick in the book! I don’t know what’s going on, but these two are starting to freak me out.

It’s not that I’m convinced. I haven’t caught them doing anything around work, but Ezekiel Jones is usually pretty clever about these things.

Stone and Cassandra- huh; I’m not sure how to feel about this really. The idea’s a little freaky, but…I don’t know. I’ll just have to start some of my expert detective work over the next few days .


	7. And the Hollow Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get shaky after a long day at the Library

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me

**_Cassandra_ **

            I really thought things were going to get better once Flynn showed up today, especially when he went missing. Baird seemed so worried, and then all the emotion of Ray came up, and I thought for sure our little family was going to be whole again.

Flynn’s gone again though, and here we are, back at square one. Baird isn’t talking much, no matter how much we’ve tried to comfort her. It’s just sad. I’ve been watching it for weeks, and I can’t stand it any longer.

I never even knew Baird and Flynn were together until that day we all met up in New York, and Ezekiel and I saw them kiss on the sidewalk. I couldn’t believe it, but I was so happy. They really do seem perfect for each other. I noticed it while we were still training, but I didn’t want to say anything. It’s so hard to watch them fight now.  

Baird went home a few minutes ago; said she wanted to be alone. Ezekiel, Jake and I are sitting in the annex in silence. Jake ended up on the other side of the table from me, and we can’t really move to each other with Ezekiel watching.

I turn my glance over to him. He’s just staring down at his poetry book. This whole day scared me, and I just want to talk to him about it already. I want to go home.

I never believed in happily ever afters, not really; I didn’t have a reason to. Jake’s made me look at things differently these past weeks. Up until now, Eve and Flynn restored my belief too. I’d never been that close to that kind of love. Today changed things though; I don’t even know where their relationship stands.

It’s almost enough to crush all the hope that I had built up.

**_Ezekiel_ **

            The Library hasn’t been this silent for a while. It’s weird. Stone and Cassandra aren’t talking to each other, which doesn’t help my theory from the other day. I have to do something. This is _killing_ me.  I’m the first one to say anything in what feels like an hour.

“Hey Cassandra I walked this morning and it’s gotten pretty dark. You mind if I hitch a ride home?”

“Oh” she gasps, seeming taken aback. “I’d love to, but uh…I got a ride with Stone this morning”

Stone looks up from his research, never noticing what was going on until his name was mentioned.

“What?” he asks.

“Ezekiel wants a ride home” Cassandra explains.

“Yeah sure, no problem. I can squeeze you in the truck”

I try to hide my smirk. They got a ride together this morning. I’ve got them right where I want them.

**_Jake_ **

            We finally get back to Cassandra’s place after dropping Jones back at his apartment. It’s been a long hard day, and it’s feels good to finally be back at the place that feels like home. I throw my car keys on the side table and head to the kitchen to grab us drinks. We feel so comfortable in each other’s apartments by now; neither of us gives a second thought to walking around like we live there.

“What do you want to drink?” I call out to Cassandra.

“Just juice is fine”

Her voice is quieter than usual. She almost sounds scared. Whatever. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about; we just had a hard day. I grab a bottle of her favorite citrus blend, and one for myself and bring it into the living room. I don’t find things much better there.

Cassandra’s curled up on the couch in a ball, wringing her hands in her lap. I put the drinks down on the table and sit down next to her.

“I know” I say. “It was a rough day”

I try to put my arm around her, but she shies away. Something is definitely wrong here. She’s never acted like this before.

“What’s the matter Cassie?” I ask.

“Nothing” she says. I can tell she’s lying to me.

“Cassie” I insist. She sighs and sits up on the couch. I straighten up. I’m really scared of what’s comin’ next. Today was rough enough.

“Today was just hard: that’s all”

I breathe a sigh of relief. I don’t know why I thought I had anything to worry about. I should’ve known it was just after-effects of the day. I’m all too familiar with that feeling.

“I know” I say, trying again to bring her close to me. “Almost losing the Library like that, it was rough”

“No that’s not what I meant”

Cassie pushes away from me again, to my dismay. I tense up now. She won’t even look me in the eye. A million possibilities rush through my head, none of them good: her tumor grew, it spread somewhere else…tomorrow is her chosen day.

I place my hand on top of hers, refusing to let go this time. It doesn’t matter though; she lets me hold on now, but she’s still not meeting my gaze directly.

“My parents weren’t…they didn’t…they weren’t exactly affectionate with each other, not like other couples were. Then, when I was diagnosed with the cancer, they just started to fight all the time”

“Cassie what does…”

“My point is I never grew up watching a healthy relationship, and I guess I always struggled with believing that happy relationships could really exist.”

“Cassie what are you saying? You’re scarin’ me darlin’”

I’m not sure why this story has relevance, but I’m getting an idea, and I can feel my breath catching in my throat. This could go in one of two directions, one of which I’m not sure I’m ready for yet, and one that would send my world crashing down.

“Just let me finish Jake, please” It almost sounds like she’s starting to cry.

“I never had anything to give me reason to believe I could be happy with someone, and then I came to the Library, and I met you and…” She pauses to gather herself again. I just stare at her with sorrowful eyes, knowing what’s coming, but not ready for the crash

“You make me really happy Jake. And with you, and the Library, I was meeting all these new people and seeing all these new kinds of things, and I was believing. I watched Eve and Flynn, and how happy they were, and I thought _wow,_ maybe happiness really isn’t a lie like I thought. I mean even all those weeks when they were fighting, even earlier today, you could easily see how much Baird still loved him, and so I believed”

“Cassie please stop talking” I urge, trying to stop myself from crying. “You’re just tired. Come on, I’ll make you some of your favorite tea”

“No Jake I have to say this”

I don’t want to, but I shut up. I know there’s no way to avoid this now, no matter how hard I try. I can fight, but I have to let it play out. It’s not easy to stop a cart that’s already rolling quickly down a hill, not without hurting yourself more.

“Today, to watch Baird walk into the room with us without Flynn next to her, to look at her pained face and know what just happened…It feels like it’s just like I always thought Jake: even for people like Eve and Flynn, love doesn’t last. There are no happily ever afters. I’m scared Jake. I’m scared of falling off of Cloud Nine, especially when I’m up this high. A fall from that high will surely leave you hurt. I’m tired of getting hurt”

I back away from her on the couch. I prepped myself and prepped myself in the past few minutes, but I still wasn’t ready. I didn’t know just how painful it would be when the words came out of her mouth.

“Cassie what are you saying?” I cry. I hear anger building up in my voice, and I feel it filling my bones. I can’t help it; how could she do this to me, at a time when we need each other the most?

“I don’t know” Her voice is still shaky with tears.

“What do you mean you don’t know? Do you want to be with me or not?”

“I want to be with you Jake! I’ve never been happier in my entire life than I have been these weeks”

“Then why the hell are you ending it?!”

“Happiness ends Jake! I see it all around me. I just need some time. I’m so afraid of losing that happiness, and with what life has shown me I know I will.”

We’re both shouting now, the cries that continue a mix of rage and hurt. I’ve had breakups before, but there’s never been a fallout like this. I’ve never cared so much to be this hurt by losing it.

“Are you saying you want some time apart because you don’t _trust_ me to not hurt you?”

I’ve risen off the couch now, and I’m looming over her, small and shaking and vulnerable. There’s a part of me trying to fight its way out that feels like a monster, that’s trying desperately to pull the emergency break, but it won’t work. My face is tear-stained and red as Cassie’s hair.

“Oh you’re one to talk Jacob” Cassie screams. I’ve never heard her this angry. Her voice cracks in the back of her throat. “It’s not like I’ve been given an example of that feeling to follow”

I inhale sharply to control my pain. The words fly out of my mouth before I can catch them. This is not how I wanted this moment to go down. I’m crying so much now that my voice is barely audible.

“You know what Cassie, I was just about to tell you that I _do_ trust you. Looks like I was wrong though. You went and broke my heart that day Cassie you know that?”

“Well you did the same to me!”

“I had feelings for you right away, and I thought for the first time I could be myself with a girl, and that maybe that meant I’d finally build something real, and then you stepped all over it, and my heart broke. Now you’ve just gone and done it again”

She freezes in front of me, and if she reacts in any other way, I don’t see it. I’m already storming towards the door when she stands up and calls out to me.

“Jacob wait!”

“Naw Cassandra. You were so worried about falling off Cloud Nine? Well you just became the one who did the pushing”

I slam the door as loudly as possible, and I don’t look back, even as I feel the weight of the world pressing down on me

**_Cassandra_ **

Jake scares me when he starts shouting at me. I’ve never heard him sound like this, never seen him this angry, and for a moment I fear I never really knew him. The weight of what I’ve done doesn’t hit me until he starts walking away.

I’ve hurt him, and that’s the last thing I wanted to do. He sounds destroyed when he starts talking about how I broke his heart. I’ve always carried the guilt of that day with me, but this time I’ve spent with Jake made me forget; now it all returns in one giant wave.

“Jake wait!” I call. I can’t lose him, I can’t. I was wrong. I don’t know that happiness can’t last forever. I don’t even know for sure that Baird and Flynn are done. But it’s too late; he’s already storming. If I ever get him back, it won’t be tonight.

“You were so worried about falling off Cloud Nine?” he jeers. “Well you just became the one who did the pushing”

“WAIT!” I scream again, but he’s already slammed the door.

I break into sobs and plop back on the couch, before rolling off and landing in a heap on the floor. I feel myself crumbling from the inside and out.

What have I done? What have I done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me please! I felt the story needed it! See you next time


	8. And he Infernal Contract

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a case that nearly kills them, Jake and Cassandra reflect on the current state of their relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hopefully after this you can forgive me for last week.   
> Also, "pashing" is slang for "making out". The Australian equivalent of "snogging"

It’s been a week since Jake and I fought, and I feel lost. He’s not even saying hello to me in the mornings, and I’m too scared to initiate anything myself. Even before we were together, he was always inches away from me while we were working. This week we’ve been standing feet apart from each other. It’s unbearable.

It has been a whole seven days though, and I feel things starting to shift. I’m not even trying to be close to him; I don’t want him to be uncomfortable; it just keeps happening instinctively. Like when Jenkins is tossing us books to look through, I keep trying to catch them, but they always end up in Jake’s bubble, and before I realize that, I’ve already reached for one and ended up brushing his arm. Whenever it happens, I back away quickly, like I did something wrong, though it’s not like he even _looked_ at me in any way.  

This is heartbreaking to say the least. I don’t know if it would be worse if I was the victim, but it sure hurts like hell knowing that I’m the reason we’re so broken like this. When someone’s suddenly become a huge part of your life, even if in retrospect it hasn’t been for that long, a week apart from them begins to feel like an eternity. Forget that; three _days_ was an eternity.

The days do go by none the less, and I know I should be focusing on the cases, but it’s just so hard. We were together, we were finally together, and now we’re just _not_. I come home to my empty apartment every night and it feels wrong. I can’t even watch TV after work without feeling like he should be there next to me. To make matters worse, he still has clothes at my place. We each kept an outfit at each other’s apartments so as to avoid a repeat of the oversleeping crisis. I know I should give them back, but I just can’t do it. That would mean admitting it’s really over, and I’m not ready for that. So, I can’t give them back, but I can’t look at them either, not without crying.

 _Oh Cassie_ I think. _What did you do?_

**_Jake_ **

            I wish she wouldn’t walk away from me so quickly whenever we accidentally touch. I miss her; every time our skin brushes I’m reminded of just how much so. In those short little moments where our paths cross, I feel my heart race, and my stomach jumps up into my throat. I want to grab her, and hold her close, and tell her I want everything to be normal again, but it just doesn’t’ seem possible.

The silence in my apartment every night is deafening, the most discomforting thing I’ve heard in a long time. It takes me over an hour to fall asleep every night, when I do sleep, without feeling the weight of her body sinking the mattress next to me. Every time I go to the fridge, I instinctively start to grab two beers, then sigh as I put one of them back.

The reminders of our relationship are everywhere. The pillow on the other side of my bed still smells like her perfume. I found one of her socks underneath the sheets two days ago. Most of all, when I see her at work every day, she’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever beheld.

I was mad for a while, sure, but it barely lasted two days. It didn’t take long for my pain to dissolve into guilt. I should’ve just held her hand and talked her through her fears, ensured her that I was never going to leave her, and that happiness could exist. Instead I let my own insecurities absorb her words, and I blew up. It feels too late to fix anything though. I was nasty.

My whole life I’ve rarely actually felt a connection with a girl. Only once have I had the courage to tell a girl the truth about myself, but she just walked away from me. All of this is with the exception of Mabel of course, but that was doomed to fail from the time it started. Leaving Cassandra, I can’t shake the feeling that I threw away my one shot.

**_Ezekiel_ **

The annex has not been the same lately, not at all. It’s almost disturbing. When Baird leaves the room, after she gives us assignments for the day, the three of us, Stone, Cassandra, and I, always break out into some kind of conversation. The past week has been silent. I can’t get anything out of these two.

I’ve given up on my “theory” from last week. There’s no way anything’s going on between Stone and Cassandra; I haven’t heard them say a single word to each other since the last time Flynn was here. The last time I remember it being like this, we had just started at the Library. Never the less, I still like to try a few things out. We’re just finishing up some research, when I decide to break the silence.

“Hey Stone” I venture. “Long week huh? You wanna grab a beer after work?”

“Nah Jones” he grunts. “I’m too wiped. Sorry”

“What about you Cassandra?”

“Sorry. I’m a bit too tired too.”

See what I mean? I’ve never heard Stone deny an opportunity for a beer, and with Cassandra’s record for a social life, she’s always looking for opportunities to go out with her friends. They’re not even acting like themselves.

Whatever; we’ve got demons and the devil to worry about right now. Maybe this will sort itself out on its own…but I doubt it.

**_Jake_ **

            I’m trying so hard to quell the angry jealousy inside of me as I watch Cassandra walk away from the car, arm and arm with Jenkins. I know I have to let it go, because Cassandra is not mine to be jealous for anymore.

I can’t help it though. It didn’t really matter who pretended to be the couple. Sure I’m a country boy, but I clean up just fine. I could’ve been just as convincing as a debutante as Jenkins is. That should be me leading Cassandra inside. I can’t help but wonder if she set up this whole thing just to spite me.

This is all just increasing the misery I feel over our breakup. She looks gorgeous in the damn dress, and I can’t even tell her: it’s not my place anymore. And I guess I know I wouldn’t have anything to be jealous about with Jenkins even if there had been no fallout at all, but it doesn’t take much to upset me at a time like this.

**_Cassandra_ **

            I don’t know what time it is when I wake up on my cot in the library. It must be past the amount of time Jenkins said we needed to lie still though, because the annex is dim, and I feel much better than I did before.

I look over to my left. Jones’ cot is empty. He must have gone home already. I bite my lip as I look at the next cot: there’s Jake, sitting up and looking at his lap. I’m so over this whole estrangement, but I’m so scared to make the first gesture.

I guess almost dying changes your perspective a bit though, because it doesn’t take long before I stand up, move to Ezekiel’s cot, and shift it over so that it’s touching Jake’s.

“Hey” I whisper. He looks up at me. His eyes are red, and he looks exhausted, and I can’t think of anything except a week ago, on a night like this, I’d look at him like that, and take his hand, and we’d curl up on the couch until we weren’t afraid of nightmares anymore. I want that back. I’m ready to try.

“Hey” he replies gruffly.

“I’m just gonna say it Jake” I say, eventually finding the right words. “I messed up. I let my fear take over again. It seems like that’s always how I lose you. But, I shouldn’t have let you go that night. I’m sorry”

“Well I’m sorry too Cassie”

I smile. He’s calling me Cassie again. He’s picking up the conversation. Now I know we’re going to be okay. Nothing has ever felt so relieving.

“Don’t act like it was all your fault” he continues. “I could’ve just listened to what you were saying and helped you through it. I shouldn’t have blew up like that”

“Jake…I regretted what I did as soon as you were out the door. I thought we were never going to be together again, but when we almost died today, well I guess it just put things in perspective”

“You couldn’t let us be apart anymore knowing that we could’ve ended our lives never having resolved the stupid fight?”

“How do you always know exactly what I’m thinking?” I ask him, hearing the chuckle hidden in my voice. I’m laughing at how unbelievable all this is. We’re so connected again, you would think nothing ever happened.

“Because we think alike Cassie”

His hand approaches mine and I grab it and squeeze tight. I feel tears come to my eyes. I missed him so much. I don’t ever want to lose him again.

“Why are you crying darlin’?” Jake asks. He reaches up and wipes the tear from underneath my eye.

“I just can’t believe I lost you. Being apart like that, it made me realize…Jacob, I love you”

I didn’t preplan to say those words before I said them. They just sort of… came out. Once I say them, I can feel how true they really are.

“I love you too” He whispers.

Then we’re leaning towards each other, and we’re kissing again, and I don’t even care that my tears are falling onto our lips. It feels like an eternity since I’ve joined with him in this way, and I can’t believe I’d forgotten what complete and total euphoria it brings me.

I hear the loud music playing in my head, and see the bright pinks and yellows I always do, when suddenly it’s all interrupted by the sound of china smashing on the floor behind us.

**_Jake_ **

_Cassandra. Cassandra, Cassandra, Cassandra._ She’s all I can focus on, all I can visualize, or feel, or hear. I’m lost in a different world, because Cassandra Cillian loves me, and that’s all that matters. All of this is broken by the sound of cups smashing on the Library’s linoleum floor.

We jerk apart and turn behind us. There’s Jones, standing in the doorway, wide-eyed and frozen, a broken cup lying in a pile of spilled coffee in front of him.

“Jones…” I mutter.

He points a finger at us and starts walking backward. His mouth is moving, but there aren’t any sounds coming out. Just our luck: as soon as we get back together, someone finds out.

“Ezekiel, listen” Cassandra ventures. Her voice is gentler than mine. She sounds calm, but I feel her hand reaching for mine. I grab it, and she holds onto me tightly.

“What the bloody hell is going on here?” he finally manages. I’m about to answer him when he continues.

“No never mind that I think I got the idea. What I wanna know is why you didn’t tell me, or why you couldn’t at least wait until I was gone to start pashing all over the place”

“We thought you went home already!” I shout.

“I woke up and went to get some drinks to get rid of the taste from the awful stuff Jenkins had us drink. I came in here to see if you two wanted anything, because I’m _such_ a gentleman, and _this_ is what I find!”

“Ezekiel we weren’t trying to upset you.” Cassandra explains “We just wanted to keep it a secret for a while because everything was so crazy here, and we thought it’d be best if this was just for us”

“When did this even happen?!”

Cassandra and I look at each other worriedly. He’s not going to like the answer, and we dropped this conflict months ago. Bringing it up could resurface old tensions, but at this point there’s no more room for anymore lies. Cassandra sighs before answering him.

“We had our first kiss in Peru”

“PERU?!”

“But we didn’t start seeing each other regularly until New York 3 months later. Believe me; we never even contacted each other!”

“As if I didn’t feel out of the loop enough already, now I k _now_ it was you two versus me in Peru, and now I know why!”

“Nothing even happened until after you started storming off like a child!” I exclaim.

I feel bad that Jones is upset all of this, but I’m getting sick of him right now. Sure it’s a big surprise, but honestly, it really was none of his business.

“Jacob” Cassandra whispers, placing her hand on my arm. She hates it when I’m angry.

“Like a _child_?” Jones shoots back.

“That’s what I said!”

“Boys!” Cassandra shouts, though her voice is held at a whisper. “I’m not going through this with you two again! Now let’s all just talk about this like adults and lower our voices. The last thing we need is Jenkins hearing about all of this too”

“Oh he’s not here” Ezekiel says, suddenly sounding less angry than he was before. His mood changed quickly, almost too quickly. “He said we could stay on the cots for the night if we wanted, and that he would spend the night with Gretchen and Santa. He left like 20 minutes ago”

“Are we sure Santa was there?” Cassandra asks.

‘”What?!” Jones and I exclaim at the same time, staring at Cassandra, waiting for her to elaborate. Her face scrunches up in my favorite way, like it does when there’s something gory on some movie we’re watching.

“I may have overheard him on the phone once. Let’s just say I think Jenkins and Mrs. Claus have found their way to the naughty list”

“Oh gross!” Ezekiel shouts. I’m frozen with shock, and I’m not sure what to think. Jenkins and Gretchen Claus- and I thought _I_ was a part of the biggest scandal at the Library.

Jones plops himself down on the cot where Cassandra had been sleeping. The three of us look at each other and, just as quickly as we always will, forget all the anger and start laughing. We’re just sitting there, breaking down in the middle of the annex. I don’t think we’ve ever been the only three people in it before. God am I glad to have these two in my life.

“So you’re not mad?” Cassandra asks, once we’ve calmed ourselves down.

“No! I was just messing with you two. ” Of course. Should’ve seen that one coming.

“Besides…I knew.”

“Yeah right!” I snap back. I know for a fact that if _Ezekiel Jones_ of all people knew about our relationship, he never would have been able to keep his mouth shut.

“Alright, I had my suspicions. But I did lose them in the past week. You two weren’t even saying a word to each other.”

“We had a fight” Cassandra explains. She looks at me with her sweet, forgiving eyes. I’ve seen them too many times. I shouldn’t have had to be forgiven that many times. “But we’re okay now”

I look back at her, so completely and totally in love. This woman has given me more than I deserve, and I’ve hardly shown my gratitude, but she still loves me. We’re locked in to each other until Jones’ shout breaks the silence.

“Alright alright I promise not to be mad if I don’t have to look at this!!”

“Look at what?” Cassandra laughs.

“ _This_!” He moves his hand wildly in between us. “It’s bad enough when I have to see Baird and Flynn making out all over every bloody corridor! I don’t need it from you two too!”

At this Cassandra looks down solemnly, and I do what I should’ve done the first time: I put my arm around her and let her know that I’m there, that no matter whether it’ll be ok or not, I’ll be there to help the hurting. Jones must notice her change of attitude too, because he softens up

“Hey” he says “I’m sure they’ll be alright. They have to be, right? They’re Eve and Flynn!”

To my surprise, Cassandra looks up and smiles.

“Yeah” she agrees, then looks at me again, just like before. “I think they will”

I don’t care what Jones said, this time I can’t resist it. She believes in love because of us, and so I lean in and finish the kiss that got interrupted before.

“Alright that’s it!” Jones shouts, jumping up off of his cot. “ I can’t do it! I’m happy for you, but I can’t do it yet. I’m going home. You two…enjoy yourselves”

“No that’s okay Ezekiel” Cassie says, taking my hand and lifting herself up. “I’m tired and I’d rather sleep in my own bed tonight anyway.” She faces me and motions towards the door. “Come on Jake”

I stand up and turn around to raise my eyebrows at Jones. I’ve never known what a little kid looks like when they walk in on their parents, but I think Jones’ face is pretty darn close to it. I couldn’t help myself. The kid’s like a little brother to me. I have to mess with him.

Cassandra drags me along the exit hallway, both of us laughing like teenagers after the prom. It’s good to have this back.


	9. Bonus #2: Late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO BE THIS EMOTIONAL AND SAD. I AM SORRY. THIS IS A BONUS AND WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY BUT HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED

_**Jake** _

      It’s Saturday morning and I’m comfortably sleeping in, when I hear a shriek coming from the bathroom. I spring up from the bed and rush to attention, thinking something horrible must have happened, because in our life that’s entirely possible.

I’m about to burst through the door when I realize I’m not exactly clothed. I search the room for my boxers and my robe. As I’m throwing them on, the shriek comes again.

“JACOB!!!”

Now I know its Cassandra in trouble. I should’ve known that before, but I guess when I’d just woken up, I couldn’t exactly process that information. Terrified of what I’ll see in there, I slam the bathroom door open and rush in, ready to fight some kind of monster. Instead, I find Cassandra sitting on the toilet, hyperventilating, her arms wrapped tightly around her middle.

Ok, so no monsters, but that might be more terrifying. Anything could be happening. She could’ve had a seizure and hurt herself. She could’ve found a lump somewhere. Oh god, that’s it isn’t it? Her cancer finally spread. I approach her slowly, and hear her whispering to herself.

“Oh god I can’t do this, I can’t do this. No, no not me I’m not built for this. What am I gonna do, what am I gonna do? I can’t…not with the library…and it hasn’t even been…oh my god”

Her sentences are rushed and broken. Her breathing gets heavier with every word, and without even touching her I can tell that every muscle in her body is tense.

“Cassandra?” I whisper. She looks up at me and her face is incredibly tear-stained, more so than I’ve ever seen. Her eyes are completely red, and her nose is running.

“Cassie what’s wrong?” I ask, growing increasingly worried and confused with every second. I kneel in front of her and grab her hands in mine, moving them so she’s not squeezing herself anymore. They’re cold and clammy.

“Jake...Jake I’m so sorry” she whimpers.

“Sorry about what? You’re scaring me”

“I can’t put this kind of stress on you. I can’t believe this happened.”

“Cassie please tell me what’s goin’ on” I beg.

She takes a deep breath, and finally looks me in the eye. After a moment, she calms herself down enough to talk to me.

“Jake…I’m pregnant”

“What?!”

That was the last thing I expected to hear. I’m trying as hard as I can to keep a level head. Inside my head is exploding, but I know someone needs to be the rock right now, and there’s no way it’ll be Cassie.

“My period was late” she explains. “And it had gotten over a week now, so this morning I went out while you were still asleep and bought a pregnancy test and…”

She starts hyperventilating and crying again, and I lay our hands down on her thighs.

“Shhh Cassie” I whisper. “Come on now darlin’ I just need you to take a couple of deep breaths alright?”

It takes a minute or so, but soon her cries have quieted, and she’s just sniffling. The moment of silence gives me time to run through all the thoughts in my head.

A baby: Cassandra and I could be having a baby. That’s something. I’ve been through this kind of scare a couple of times before, but it’s never gone so far as a positive pregnancy test, and it’s never been in a situation like this. It’s never been with a girl I love. It’s never been with a girl who I could see having kids with down the line.

That’s the thing. I can see me and Cassie building a family in the future, but for heaven’s sakes we haven’t even been together six months. Of course if she’s pregnant I’d only feel right marrying her, and of course I do think I want to marry her at some point, but we’re not ready for that; at least I don’t think we are. Besides, adding a baby into the equation of all this Prospero craziness right now-not the most ideal situation.

On the other hand, a baby that the two of us made together would be so beautiful. I can picture a little baby girl, running around with Cassandra’s bright red curls. I’d read her all the best fairytales, and teach her how to ride a horse, and Cassandra could help her with her math homework at the kitchen table while I’m whipping up dinner. Or if it’s a boy, maybe he’d have my chin, and I’d let him help me fix the truck, and teach him how to cook and….whoa. I’m getting way ahead of myself here. I need to focus on the now.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do Jake” Cassandra whispers. “I don’t think I can handle a kid in my life right now, and I don’t even know if it’s safe for my body, and I can’t ask you to take on this kind of responsibility, and we just got together, and I feel like this is going to ruin everything”

“Cassie” I assure her. “Listen to me. If this is really the case, I am going to be there for you every step of the way. And don’t you dare worry about it ruining everything; I love you, and I would love our baby, and having one would only make me love you more”

She smiles at me for the first time this morning, and I finally smile too.

“Jake…we’re still not ready to have a baby” she cries.

“I know I know” I breathe. No matter how much we want to avoid it, we have to face the reality now that this is happening.

“Wait” I realize. “Those pregnancy tests can be wrong sometimes right?”

“Yeah I guess so” Cassandra whimpers. She starts to wipe the tears from her eyes.

“Alright then” I say. “You stay here and calm yourself down. I’ll make you some chamomile tea, and then I’ll run to the drug store and get a couple of more tests”

“Jake you don’t have to…” she stammers, but I help her up off the toilet before she can finish, and walk her over to the bed.

“Just relax” I assure her “It’ll all be alright-no matter how this turns out”

**_Cassandra_ **

            It’s a little while later, and my third pregnancy test is sitting on the bathroom counter. It’s only supposed to take two minutes, but it feels like an eternity. I’m squeezing Jake’s hand as tightly as I can, and I feel like I can barely breathe. The second test came out negative. It’s all up to this final go-round to determine if our lives change forever.

Suddenly, the timer on my phone goes off. I didn’t think I could get any more nervous, but now it’s like my heart has stopped. The room starts spinning, and I can’t get control of my senses. This is it. If it’s positive, this will change everything.

“Cassie?” Jake says, because I still haven’t moved.

“You check it” I insist. “I can’t”

Jake nods and slowly releases my hand as he walks over to check the test. I’m not breathing while I wait to hear. He’s not saying anything. Why isn’t he saying anything? That can only be bad right? He must be contemplating how we’re going to handle this.

He still says nothing as he walks over to me with the small stick wrapped in tissue. Instead, he just places it in my lap. I look down at the tiny screen.

“It’s negative” I say. He nods.

“I mean I should make an appointment with my doctor just to check, but I think we’re okay.”

Now I’ve joined Jake in the silence. I guess I’m trying to figure out what just happened.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yeah” I say. At least I think that’s the truth. “I mean I should be happy right? We’re not anywhere near ready to have a baby”

“No we’re not” Jake agrees, but his voice sounds solemn.

It’s true-I really should be happy. It’s the only thing that makes sense. Putting a baby into the equation this early could ruin everything. But it could also bring a lot of joy into our lives. Maybe in this situation there is no right thing to feel.

* * *

 

            That night, we’re sitting on my bed. I’m laying down, my head resting in Jake’s lap, and he’s stroking my hair. It’s been a calm day. We’ve spent most of our time just being with each other.

“Hey Jacob?” I ask

“Yeah?”

“Am I allowed to be a little bit upset that we’re not actually having a baby?”

“I think so” he says. “I mean you thought you had a baby. Your mind starts automatically preparing for it”

“It doesn’t make sense though” I say, sitting up. “I mean, I hate babies. Not kids, but babies yes”

“What?” he exclaims.

“There was an incident with my niece and some puking. Whatever. That’s a different story”

“You have a _niece_?”

“ _Never mind_ that Jacob. The point is, I should be _relieved_ that this isn’t happening. How am I at all upset?”

“Well” he says “Life doesn’t always make sense in the way we think it’s going to Cassie. I mean, what did you think was gonna happen if we had this kid”

“I didn’t know.” I say. “That’s why I was so scared. But I guess, it didn’t take long to think that I wasn’t going to hate our baby”

“You know” Jake chuckles. “As soon as you said you were pregnant, I started thinking about what our kid might be like. I didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened”

“Really?” I can’t help but smile at the idea that he would think about those things.

“Yeah”

“What did you think about?”

He tells me all about the visions he had in his head, about horse-back riding, and him cooking while I helped with homework, and family movie nights, and bedtime stories, and sleepovers at the Library.

Suddenly, I feel a tear come to my eye. I try to wipe it away before he sees, but I know that he’s noticed when he grabs my hand I that gentle way that he does when he wants to comfort me. He’s been holding my hand like that since the first day when we were looking for the crown of King Arthur.

“Hey” he said. “We both said it: we’re not ready for kids now. But someday…”

“You see that for us in the future?” I interrupt, more tears forming now.

“Yeah” He admits shyly. “I feel at home with you Cassie. And someday I’d love to build the home that neither of us got to grow up in.”

“Well then someday, your idea sounds very wonderful”

I lean my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me. I don’t know how long we stay like that. I should be at peace, and for a while I am, but eventually I start crying again, and I never tell him the full reason why: all this talk about someday is great, but for us, for _me_ , someday might never come.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry...but I think you'll enjoy the next chapter


	10. And the Image of Image

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Cassandra's secret continues to unravel when she's drunk in Club E

**_Eve_ **

Dealing with Cassandra in a club for the first time is bad enough as it is. The last thing I needed was for her to get drunk. All I know is we better figure out what this spell is and how to break it quickly, because she’s really starting to get tiring.

The fact that we’re the only ones who got in is definitely not helping the matter. Screw that stupid beauty standard. Now I’m left here to deal with her all on my own. I feel like I’m taking my little sister to a frat party for the first time, and am now in charge of making sure she doesn’t get into any trouble after she got herself drunk.  Sure that’s happened before with friends and colleagues who were younger than me, but it’s been over a decade; I’m not used to this anymore.

Literally anyone would better this situation right now. Jones knows the party scene better than any of us; he’d know what to do. Stone keeps Cassandra grounded, and he’d probably be able to help with being the human crutch. If he was here I’d know I had someone constantly watching out for her, and I wouldn’t have to worry.

Flynn would probably know what to do right now too. Even if he didn’t, which if I’m being honest with myself he probably _wouldn’t_ , I’d have someone to do it with me, or at the very least someone to talk to. No; I don’t have time to think about him right now.

I’m sitting on a couch in the club with Cassandra next to me, trying to figure out what the hell is going on here. I’m a guardian and this is not my job, but right now my only Librarian is a just a _bit_ incapacitated.

“Hey Evie” she coos. Here we go again. “I’ve got a question for you”

“What is it Cassandra?” I sigh. She’s been asking me questions for the past hour, and none of them make sense. I’m not even paying attention at this point. Cassandra giggles before continuing.

“You gotta tell me Evie, Flynn’s butt, is it as cute as Jacob’s?”

Well THAT got my attention.

“What?” I exclaim, turning my mind away from the case for a moment.

“Oh whoops!” Cassandra bursts into another fit of laughter. “How silly of me Evie: I forgot…you don’t know what Jacob’s butt looks like”

“No Red that’s not the part of the conversation that was concerning me”

Why the hell is she talking about Stone’s butt? And since when does she call him Jacob? Since when have _any_ of us called him Jacob? She can’t get a half of a sentence out without giggling and snorting for five seconds, and she’s practically rolling all over the couch, but finally she gets more of an answer out to me.

“Oh that’s right Evie!” she whispers. “You don’t know the secret!”

“Secret?!”

“Woops! I wasn’t supposed to tell you that”

Cassandra falls back on the couch giggling. She’s completely lost it at this point. Clearly, she’d tell me anything. I hate to take advantage of her when she’s drunk, but if there’s something going on with my Librarians, it’s my job to find out. I’m definitely not doing this because I’ve become an eighth grader eager for gossip. She’s my best friend. Cut me some slack.

“Alright Cassandra” I urge. “Tell me what’s going on”

“Nope. Can’t do that. Sorry Evetastico”

“Come on!” I insist. “We’re friends right? Besides, what if this secret you’re keeping from me could help solve some ancient Library secret”

No one would buy this crap, but I have a feeling that Cassandra would while she’s drunk. It’ll be like taking candy from a baby.

“Alright” she agrees, through pursed lips. “But you have to promise not to tell anyone”

“You’ve got my word.”

Cassandra looks left and right, then leans in to whisper in my ear.

“Jake and I have been seeing each other outside of work” she says. Then she starts laughing again. Apparently alcohol makes Cassandra think anything and everything is hysterical.

I’m not sure what to say when she tells me this. I sort of just freeze there for a moment. I don’t know what “secret” I was expecting her to tell me, but it certainly wasn’t _that_! Stone and Cassandra? You’ve got to be kidding me! Flynn’s going to freak when he hears about…no, I’m not supposed to be thinking about him.

I take a deep breath and reassess the situation. For all I know, this isn’t even true. Earlier Cassandra was talking about some purple Rhino. Besides, even if it is true, I can’t sit here forever. There’s a case that needs our attention.

“Now remember Evie” Cassandra continues. “You can’t say anything. Only Jones knows, and he found out by mistake, and we decided not to tell anyone yet.”

I’m trying to figure out what to do with myself right now when Cassandra starts giggling and reaching for me again.

“Evie your head is made of marshmallows! Eve-o the marshmallow!”

Yeah, this whole “secret” is probably not something I actually have to worry about at all. I’ve noticed that Cassandra has a little crush on Stone. The alcohol is probably just making her construe some sort of distorted reality out of her fantasies.

Then again, now that I think about it, they’ve left the annex together almost every day. I’ve always attributed that to their friendship, but when I think back to our first months at the annex, they weren’t like that.

I flash back to the morning after we went to Wexler, when they both called in sick. Jones suggested to me that something else was going on there. I told him he was crazy, but now with this possible confession from Cassandra, I remember one morning after Sam and I… I wipe the thought from my mind, grab Cassandra by the arm, and lead her to where we need to be next.

**_Cassandra_ **

            Everyone else has left the annex when Jake comes and finds me, sitting on the table with my head in my hands. I’m still trying to shake off the headache the hangover gave me, and the whole world is still a blur.

“Hey” he says gently, plopping himself next to me. “How you feelin’?”

“Like I just got run over by a truck” I admit. “I swear, I don’t think I’m ever touching anything with alcohol in it ever again”

“Ah don’t say that” he sighs. “It’s just a bad hangover; everyone gets ‘em. Besides, it wasn’t even you who did the drinking. You know how to limit yourself. You can’t just give up like that; you still owe me that pint”

I smile at him. I’ve spent the past few hours scanning my head for what few memories I might have of the night. The one I’ve been able to grasp onto is not good.

“Jake” I mumble. “We might have a problem.”

“And what’s that?”

“I think in all the drunken banter, I may have told Baird about us.”

He sighs, but doesn’t say anything to make me think he’s angry at me.

“Well” he grumbles “It was bound to happen eventually”

“So you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad Cassie? You didn’t do anything wrong”

I lean my head on his shoulder, close my eyes, and breathe in. I breathe in this moment: the love, the peace, the absolute wonder that is our relationship. Even I was mad at me for what happened tonight, and Jake’s just maintaining such a level head; every day I feel more and more like I don’t deserve him.

He puts his arm around me and rubs small circles into my back. We’re both quiet for a while, and I can tell that we’re thinking about the same things.

“Come on” Jake says. “It’s been a long day. I’ll drive you home and get you into bed”

He jumps off the desk and grabs my hand to help me down. Our fingers never separate as we walk out of the low-lit annex, and my head remains on his shoulder, breathing in that peace, all the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to write about the "how bout a pint" scene, but with them already dating, the muse wasn't there. Hope you still enjoyed! See you next time with another bonus


	11. Bonus #3: Meet the Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get messy when Cassandra's parents show up for a spontaneous visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry this chapter took so long! I could never find the muse for it, and then Gilmore Girls took over my life for the summer. This long chapter break may or may not happen again, as my obsession has suddenly lapsed as I reached season 6. Who knows what'll happen? Anyway, enjoy this now!

**_Jake_ **

            It’s Saturday and I arrive at Cassie’s apartment with a fresh bouquet of flowers. After our first attempt at a first real date failed, we decided that a nice lunch would be a good replacement. Ready to make and hear all kinds of jokes about being a right southern gentlemen, I knock on the door.

A loud groan of distress comes from inside the apartment. That’s not promising.

“You said you wouldn’t be here until three!” I hear Cassie shout.

I have to stop and think for a moment. We did say twelve didn’t we? With all the Library mess my brain’s been a bit of a jumble, but I’m fairly certain we said one.

Strings of continuous mumbles get louder and louder, until the door opens, and I see her breathe a sigh of relief.

“Oh” she says. “Jacob it’s you. I’m sorry. I forgot you were coming.” She opens the door wider for me to come in.

What I see in the apartment is only more confusing. Trash bags surround the room. Rugs are thrown on top of couches and tables.  A vacuum is plugged into the wall.

I try to hold out the flowers to her, but she doesn’t even say hello to me. I’m not even fully in the door before she starts running around again, picking up things from counters and fluffing pillows.

“Cassie wha…” I start to say, but she cuts me off.

“I’m sorry Jacob I can’t go to lunch. My parents called last night and said they were in town and they’re coming at 3”

“Wait…your parents?”

“I know right?! I mean I haven’t seen them in what, ten years? And all of a sudden they decide to show up!”

“Cassie, Cassie!” I shout, placing my hands on her shoulders. “Take a breath”

The second she stops moving she collapses, her head falling right onto my chest. Instinctively my hands change position, one wrapping around her waist and the other stroking her hair. I can feel how rapid her breathing is, and I just wish I could slow it down. I wish I could slow everything down. Hell, there are days when I wish I could stop the whole world from spinning for her.

“Look, I’m the first one who understands that parents can really suck” I whisper. “But it’s one evening. You can get through it I know you can. Hell if it’s been ten years, maybe they’ve changed. If they suddenly wanna see you there’s gotta be a good reason”

“Thanks Jacob” Cassie replies. She pulls away from me and wipes the tears that I didn’t even notice had fallen. “But I’m pretty sure I know exactly why they’re coming and if I’m right it’s gonna be ugly”

“Why?”

“Never-mind”

She’s gone all quiet. She hasn’t been like this around me in months. Suddenly there’s something she doesn’t want to tell me. I want to know desperately, but I also know that I don’t wanna push her. She’s got enough stress in her life. I’m supposed to be the one who keeps her comfortable.

“Cassie look” I say. “This place looks pretty spiffy. I’ll help you pick the last of these things up, and then we can still have a quick little lunch. I’ll have you back here by three easy. We can walk down to that little bistro you like so much”

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” she teases.

“Yes actually” I reply. She laughs and gets up on her toes to plant me a quick kiss.

“You’re the best” she smiles.

**_Cassandra_ **

            Lunch with Jake is everything that I needed on this crazy day. When we’re walking hand in hand down the street back to my place, and he’s making me laugh, I almost forget about my parents. Turns out that wasn’t exactly the best thing to do. I can’t believe I didn’t even notice the extra car in front of my house. What can I say? Jake makes me go practically boy-crazy.

We get to my door, and it’s like my brain knows that I have something to attend to, but my conscious mind has forgotten what it is. So, not thinking, and still not noticing the car, I kiss him goodbye when we get to my door. I can’t say it’s PG-13 worthy or anything, but it’s not exactly the most demure of kisses either. That’s when I hear the voice.

“Cassandra?”

I freeze. I’m stiff. I feel like I’m in the ninth grade and I’ve been caught making out with Kirk Bryant when we were supposed to be doing our science project. Not that that actually ever happened, the catching or the actual making out. I dreamt about it though.

Regardless of what actually happened in my past and what didn’t, I feel like a teenager when I hear my mother’s voice. I feel Jake frozen solid too. Our lips were a half an inch away from touching again when we were interrupted, and it’s like we’re stuck there. Finally I manage to turn around, and hope I’m not shaking as much as I feel like I am.

“Hi Mom” I mutter. “I’m sorry. I was out for lunch and I lost track of time. Is it three?”

“No” she says “It’s two thirty. We didn’t hit that much traffic and we were here early. Don’t you wear a watch Cassandra?”

“I usually just use my phone Mom”

I see my father getting out of the car behind her. Oh God please don’t tell me he saw that whole display too. Neither of my parents has ever seen me _hold hands_ with someone, much less _this_. Of course it’s how we’d be reintroduced after ten years.

“Hi Dad” I wave shyly.

“Hello Button” he replies.

I cringe and move my hair behind my ear. I haven’t heard the name “Button” in a long time. He used it all the time when I was little, and I loved it. As our relationship grew sour though, he tended only to say it when he wanted something from me. Now I was even more certain of why they were here.

There’s a moment of awkward silence. I’m not sure how to position myself to make this the least awkward it can be. Do I stand close to Jake like I desperately want to and risk looking worse than I already do to my prudish mother? Do I step away from him and make the discomfort more obvious? Before I can decide, my mother does it for me.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?” she insists.

“Oh sorry!” I say. “Mom, Dad, this is Jacob Stone”

Jake reaches out his hand to shake with my parents. He’s putting on a big smile, but I can feel how tense he is when his leg brushes against mine. I cringe; this is the last thing I wanted him to have to get involved with. My parents take his hand to be polite, but I can see how unimpressed they are in their faces.

“Well I better be going” he says. He turns to kiss me goodbye before realizing what he’s doing. The stumble to stop himself doesn’t help things, and we’re both kind of stuck again.

“Oh nonsense” my father chimes “You should join us.”

“What?!” I exclaim. No no no. No this can’t happen. The only way for this situation to possibly get any worse is for Jake to come inside and meet my parents. We’ll be broken up within the hour.

“Well..” Jake begins, looking to me for the right answer. I try to signal to him with my eyes that he definitely does not want to do this.

“I couldn’t intrude.” he stammers.

“Nonsense the more the merrier dear” my mother jeers. Oh God is hearing her talk like that bringing up so many horrible repressed memories. And I know it’s not genuine. She’s never genuine…unless she’s angry.

“Well I actually have some work to get to” Jake keeps trying to walk away, but my parents are reeling in hard. They stay close to us, won’t stop staring.

“Oh come on. You can spend a little time with us!” my father insists. “Let us inside Button”

I grin sheepishly and try not to panic as I push past Jake and my parents to get to the door. I fumble with the lock, but with my hands shaking like this I can’t get the key in no matter how hard I try. With everything piling up I’m on the verge of panic, and I really do not need my parents to see that.

“Let me help you with that darlin’” I hear Jake say. Before I know it, he’s behind me. In taking the key from my hand, he manages to wrap his arm around me ever so discreetly. It’s all I needed, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Once we’ve got the door unlocked, he starts to walk in, but I push him aside under the guise of letting my parents enter first. Quickly I drag him as far away from the open door as reasonably possible.

“Now just remember” I whisper “No matter what happens in there, I love you, and you love me and you said it so no backsies! You can’t decide not to do this just because my parents are nuts…although I wouldn’t blame you”

“Cassie what the hell are you talking about? If my father didn’t turn you away, then your folks sure as hell can’t make me bail. Nothing can.”

I lean up and kiss him, making sure we are nowhere near in view of my living room.

“How bad could they be?” he asks.

“Have you ever seen Gilmore Girls?”

“I think my little sister might’ve dragged me into watching a couple of episodes with her when she was a teenager. Why?”

“Yeah the parents in that show? Picture that, except not rich, and on crack”

I don’t take more than a second to look at the shock and confusion crossing his face before grabbing his hand and dragging him inside. We’ve been out here a while and my mother is going to get suspicious. In the past month we haven’t exactly had the best track record with keeping our secret. I’d like my parents to know as little as possible.

            It’s been ten minutes and no one’s said a word. My parents are on the couch, while Jake and I are sitting across from them in my folding lounge chairs. All that I’ve heard aside from the occasional cough or “Wonderful weather we’re having” is the fizzing of Jake’s beer as he takes each sip, and my mother’s tight breathing.

“So…Jacob is it?” my mother begins. Oh God.

“Yes Ma’am.” He’s trying too hard to be polite. Oh God please don’t try too hard to be polite. She can sense when people are faking things. I should’ve told him to be discreet.

“Well, you have to tell me: how long have you and Cassandra been seeing each other?”

“Four months” I say. Short and sweet before Jake can get into some way too descriptive answer that would raise all kinds of unnecessary questions.

“We met because we’re both Librarians at the local Library. New York Metropolitan.” I kick his leg, but it’s too late. Oh this is going to go down hill very very fast.

“Oh.” my mother pipes. “You can get a Librarian job without a highschool diploma?”

“Apparently so” I sigh, desperately wishing for the subject to be changed. It’s no use though. We’re already on the highway to hell. I snatch Jake’s beer from him and take a big swig.

“And when was this dear? Last we checked you were a janitor”

“About a year ago now Mom”

 “And you’ve been seeing Jacob for four months?”

“Yes” I reiterate. “I just said that.”

“And….” she holds back, as if she knows she shouldn’t be saying what she’s about to. Not that that’s ever stopped her. “Does he _know_?”

“Oh my God Mom _yes_!”

I look over at Jake and she looks shell-shocked. The poor thing has no idea what to say. I’m lucky _I_ know what to say. Suddenly I’m reminded why I wanted to hide for my entire childhood.

“Don’t be so upset” she scoffs. “I just wanted to make sure, because you know…it can really affect a marriage”

Next to me Jake chokes on his beer. I freeze in my seat. Out of all the things I thought could happen tonight, that was not one of them. This is an actual disaster.

“Mom we’ve been dating for four months!” I scold.

“So? It had to be mentioned darling”

“No it didn’t!” I yell, springing up from my chair. “It didn’t have to be said at all! Jake is a good guy. He’s never looked at me any differently because of my conditions. He sees it all as just another part of me, and helps me accept it, and makes me believe that it makes me beautiful.”

I’ve grown livid. I want to stop myself, and I can hear Jake trying to whisper to me to calm down, but I don’t have any control anymore. My time at the Library has changed me, and years of built-up anger towards my parents is finally being released.

“Maybe I’ll marry Jacob” _Oh God I didn’t just say that. Shut up Cassandra. You’re making it worse please shut up._ “Maybe I won’t. But if I do, _we_ will work through whatever issues arise. And it wouldn’t have to be an issue! It would just be a part of our life that we deal with, just like we do now! But you can’t comprehend that. Because you can’t accept anything that’s not 100% normal!”

“Button…” My dad begins.

“Stop calling me Button!” I scream. “You don’t get to suddenly show up in my life after ten years of disappearing and then make decisions for me! Don’t think I haven’t figured out why you’re here.”

“But Cassandra” my mom insists, finally skipping any masking of her motive. “This doctor we heard speak, he really has come up with some _revolutionary_ new treatments…”

“When I decided to stop treatments ten years ago I was serious! I was miserable, and the doctors told me it probably wouldn’t really extend my life at all! But instead of being there for me when I made the decision to put my fate in my own hands, you _abandoned_ me. I was 23 years old, and old enough to decide these things for myself, and yet still young enough to need you, and you left me.”

“Cassandra…”

I find myself storming to the front door and opening it.

“Go” I say

“What?”

“Get out of my house! If you wanna meet for dinner while you’re here, fine. But you’re not going to come into my house, and my life, and treat me like you used to. Leave!”

Slowly, and without a word, my parents get up and walkout. They look like they can’t believe what just happened. _I_ can’t believe what just happened.

Once the door is closed, Jake is right behind me before I can even ask him to be. I turn around and bury my face in his chest. Tears engulf me before I can process anything, and Jake just lets me cry without saying a word. I feel relieved as his arms wrap around me. This is the life I chose: a life with him, with no judgements, a life of happiness. For the first time, I’ve taken control of my life in a way that has nothing to do with how or when I die.


	12. And the Point of Salvation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jake and Cassandra find themselves locked in a closet during a case, they find themselves feeling like they've been tossed back into highschool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BAAACK  
> I'm SO SORRY I've been gone so long! I've had such horrible writers block since moving into college, but at 4AM last night the breakthrough with this chapter finally happened! I'll stop talking now so you can enjoy!

**_Cassandra_ **

            The day starts quite wonderfully. Jenkins is off buying groceries, and Eve had another errand to run, so Jake and I have decided to take advantage of some quality alone time in the annex. I’m lying on Eve’s desk and Jake is leaning forward, hovering over me. I run my fingers through his hair as he quickly drowns me in kisses.

I smile as he moves further forward towards the desk. I grab the collar of his shirt and pull him down closer to me. My whole body tingles with sensation as I pull him closer and closer, hardly ever coming up for air from our kisses. I feel his warm breath on my face as one of his knees comes down next to me, about to climb completely on the desk with me. Our fun is interrupted by an exasperated yell coming from the other end of the room.

“Oh come on!” Ezekiel exclaims. “Just because I know about your little secret doesn’t mean you can’t try to hide it from me. I do not need to see that!”

“Sorry Ezekiel” I giggle, buttoning my blouse as I sit up. In front of me, Jake wipes my lipstick off of his mouth. “We didn’t know you were gonna be coming in here”

“Well next time always assume! I’m actually _working_ in here! Can’t you two go into one of the reading rooms on some couch where you can put a sock on the door or something?”

Jake sits down in Eve’s chair and I perch myself on his lap. Slowly, I run my fingers through his hair and stare right at him.

“It’s okay Ezekiel” I coo. “You’ll understand when you’re in love”

I feel disgusting, but it’s just too much darn fun to torture him. Plus, I was very much enjoying making out, and I’d really like to continue without an audience. Jake seems to catch on to what I’m doing.

“That’s right angel-face” he says, staring me down with cartoon like eyes.

“You know it pooki-bear” I add. We proceed to giggle and noses.

“Oh my god!” Ezekiel finally scoffs, turning away. “I’ll go! Jeez I can’t take it anymore!”

He grabs the book he was looking at and storms off. Both Jake and I burst into laughter. This is what it’s like to date your best friend. You get to laugh together, and immediately understand each other’s jokes, and still enjoy all the wonderful added benefits.

“So” Jake says. “Where were we?” 

I laugh and move off of his lap to straddle myself over him. Our lips have just met again and he’s unbuttoning my blouse when we hear the backdoor whir. I nearly choke and jump off of the chair, quickly fumbling to get my buttons closed again.

“Hey” Eve says casually. Then, she notices the scene around us.

“Why are you two by my desk?” she asks. “And why is all my stuff on the floor?”

I don’t even have an answer for her. I’ve reached a point of not caring where I didn’t even think to try to come up with one. I just chuckle and pretend like I don’t know what she’s talking about.

 _Huh_. That’s funny. A few weeks ago I would’ve been panicking at the prospect of almost being caught with Jacob. But now I’m just laughing. I never really thought about when we’d stop keeping the relationship a secret. It sort of just became a part of my routine. But now I wonder, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if everyone knew after all.

**_Eve_ **

So Stone and Cassandra made out on my desk: that much is obvious enough. I guess I can officially confirm everything Cassandra told me in Club E. I’ve gotten myself used to the idea by now. My real question is why’d it have to be _my_ desk? Stone has a desk! Flynn and I have done things on my desk. I cringe at the thought. I know best friends share everything, but God there’s gotta be a line somewhere.

I sigh as I go to pick up all my things that they scattered. How far would they have gone if I hadn’t come in? _Ughh_ what if they already went that far and I just saw the rebound?! Nope. Nope nope nope I don’t have room in my head to think about this.

I just wish Cassandra would tell me, for real, not just when she’s drunk. I know things have been crazy lately but I’ve never had a female friend like her before and…I don’t know. I guess I just like the idea of having someone to talk to these kinds of things about. We could be sitting around, sharing stories while we sip mimosas.

Did I give her reason to not want to tell me? I don’t get the time to think through the question. The clippings book buzzes, and in five minutes we’re all out the door to some corporate base that’s going haywire.

**_Jake_ **

It’s not like I’ve never been trapped in a closet with a pretty girl before. I was a star football player in high school. I went to all the parties. I did everything you think might come along with that. This however, was nothing like any of the other times.

Cassandra paces back in forth through the little space that we have. My head is spinning, trying to make sense of everything that Jones had said. She’s only making me dizzier.

“Cassandra slow down” I beg. “You’re making me nervous”

“ _I’m_ making you nervous? Ezekiel just locked us in a closet!”

“Yeah, and you’re not making it any easier to deal with!”

“Jacob!”

It’s only my last words that get her to stop, cold in her tracks. She stares me down, and immediately I feel 6 inches tall. She looks hurt. I didn’t mean to hurt her.

“I’m sorry Cass” I mutter. “I’m just so freaked out by this whole thing”

She must really love me, because it doesn’t take any more than that to earn her forgiveness. She comes and sits quietly next to me before laying her head on my shoulder. I soak up the comfort of having her close to me, the one small bit of relief amongst a day full of chaos. That’s the entire job I suppose, but I feel it today more than ever.

She moves then and kisses me hard on the mouth. It’s intense but gentle all the same. My one hand wraps slowly around her waist and the other rests on her lap. She giggles as she moves away to take a breath.

“How many times do you think we’ve done this?” she asks.

“Done what?” I reply

“You know… _this_ ” She indicates the two of us. “How many times do you think Ezekiel has locked us up in the closet?”

“Oh” That’s not what I was expecting, I’ll admit. “I guess there’s really no way of knowing. He’s the only one remembering the time loop”

“One more question about this time loop thing” she continues.

“Cassie I really don’t know anything more about this subject than you do. You realize that right?”

“I’m just saying…” As she speaks she twirls her hair in her finger and inches closer towards me again, growing more and more irresistible by the second. “If everything really resets with every loop, are there any consequences to anything we should do here?”

She looks down at our hands and when she looks up at me again her eyes and her smile have turned into the versions of themselves that I only see when we’re about to take things further than a conversation. I gulp and smirk. I’ll admit I was upset when we had to discontinue our… _fun_ to go on this case. I didn’t expect we’d get the chance to continue.

“After all” she flirts. “Would we _really_ be a proper couple if we got locked in a closet and did _nothing_ but sit here and _talk_?”

With that I can’t stand it anymore. We start kissing again and I run her hair through my fingers. She moves forward more, forcing me to lean back. She smiles at me mischievously for the brief moment when we part to breathe. Things grow more heated, and she begins to unbutton my shirt.

Suddenly her hands start to shake and she’s struggling. After that things slow down, nearly stopping. I sit up and push her off of me, worried that something went wrong. She’s still frozen when I look at her.

“Hey” I say, resting my hand under her chin so that she’ll look at me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah” she mutters, shaking her head. “It’s stupid, it’s just…I don’t know it just doesn’t feel right behaving like this when I’m so worried about Jones.”

“Yeah” I admit. “I guess you’re right”

There’s a moment of silence, and we don’t look at each other. Our hands have even moved apart; hers are resting in her lap.

“I’m sorry” she whispers. “That was embarrassing”

I’m not sure what to say to her. I don’t want her to feel upset, because she was right, but it’s not like I can erase what situation just happened. I look her up and down, and realize how in this moment I want her, or rather, we want each-other, which is probably what caused the outburst of passion. But if all my years reading poetry and studying art have taught me anything, it’s that there’s more than one way to express passion.

“C’mere” I whisper, holding out my arm to her.

She silently scooches over and leans into me again, bringing us right back to where we started. I turn and lean back and she follows, and then we’re lying back on the bench where we were sitting. Somehow it doesn’t matter that I’m in a cramped closet on a hard bench; with Cassie lying next to me, I really feel I’m just in bed back home.

“This is nice” she whispers.

“Yes” I agree. “It is”

We lay there for a few moments before she gulps and breaks the silence.

“Jake?” she says, turning her head to look up at me.

“Yes darlin’?”

“I think I wanna tell everyone. You know, officially”

“Yeah” I agree, first realizing myself where all this time has led us. “I’d like that too”

 ** _Cassandra_**       

We’re standing in the back of the annex after a long day of work. There’re a couple of beers out, and Ezekiel can’t stop insisting that this whole last case didn’t happen. I’m sitting next to Jake. Hidden under the table we’re holding our hands together tightly. I can’t believe what we’re about to do.

It seems crazy really, to think that we’re really about to say these words to our friends. Technically they both know, but we’ve just been hiding it for so long. I guess I always knew that we were gonna tell them at some point, but after months of keeping the secret, it just became second nature. But at the same time I’m so incredibly excited. Once we tell people, this is real.

And granted it should already be real. We’ve said that we love each-other after all. And it is real. But, I don’t know. This is different. Jenkins is not in the room, but we decided that telling people who we didn’t really need to tell was an easier first step for breaking down this wall.

I look at Jake and he nods at me. After one final squeeze of my hand, he lets go and we stand up.

“Hey you guys…” he starts “Cassie and I had something we wanted to tell you”

I take a deep breath, and as I’m reaching for Jacob’s hand, the clipping book goes off behind me. I want to scream. It always seems to pick the most inopportune times to deliver an apocalypse upon our laps. I know saving the world is important, but gosh can’t imminent doom ever take _my_ needs into consideration?

“Twice in one day?” Ezekiel complains.

“There’s a giant totem pole missing from the town of Cicely, Washington.” Baird reads. “It’s on an island too. Weird”

Just like that we’re rushed into the next case, our big plans forgotten. But no matter _when_ it happens, we _are_ moving forward. Who knows what’s next to come after this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's that! I can't believe that it's time for Season 3 already!!! I'm so excited!!!! Enjoy the premiere everyone, and I'll see you next time!


	13. And the Happily Ever Afters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys! I know it's been forever(again). The end of the semester was so taxing, and then I was busy with all my Christmas writing! But here is chapter 9 of Best Kept Secret! This got more emotional than I'd anticipated it to, especially after Sunday's revelations(SQUEE). Anyway guys I hope you enjoy!

** Chapter 9: And the Happily Ever Afters **

**_Jacob_ **

I wake up and walk into the kitchen wiping the sleep from my eyes. I was up late grading papers last night, and then “spending time” with Cassandra, and an early morning is not my exact definition of happiness right now. My whole opinion starts to change as my senses become aware of what’s in front of me though.

 The smell of coffee and pancakes immediately enters my nose. Standing by the stove, making all the magic happen, is my gorgeous girl. She’s wearing one of my flannel button-downs which covers her only just enough. Her hair falls straight down just past her shoulders, and it’s still messy and untamed from the night before. She does a little dance as she flips the pancakes on the stove.

I sneak up behind her and wrap my arms around her middle. I breathe in deep and soak in the smell of her perfume that still lingers from last night. She giggles in response.

“Good morning” she hums.

“Good morning” I sigh, still trying to get as much of that perfume as I can.

She turns around, my arms still around her, and plants a quick kiss on my lips. Finally I walk away and start pouring the coffee while she’s finishing up the pancakes.

“What’s going on today?” I ask

“I have a lunch with my producers about some ideas for next season” she explains. “But otherwise I’m just gonna head to the bar. So I will see you as soon as you get out of class”

“Perfect” I smile.

**_Cassandra_ **

“You know I had the strangest dream last night?” I say, as I take the next bite of my pancakes.

“Yeah?” Jacob asks. “Me too”

“No way it’s as weird as mine”

“You wanna bet?” he teases.

“I dreamt that we worked with Jones and Baird at this magical library. And we were fighting, get this, _Prospero_ from _The Tempest._ And, we were together, but no one knew about it.”

Jake’s face grows stern. He’s barely looking at me, and I watch his grip on his fork tighten.

“Jake don’t be so upset” I say “It was just a dream”

“No but, I had the same dream” he says. “Like, exactly.”

“That _is_ weird” I say. Of course, it’s nothing that bothers me all that much. There are tons of recorded cases of close-people having the same dreams. I’ve read lots of articles on it. “Whatever”

“No” Jake says, persisting. “Did yours have that guy too? That old guy with the bow-ties? And then that guy Baird was dating…but not Moriarity”

“Yes!” I shout, the subject suddenly grabbing my attention.

All at once this seems to stand in my mind. It feels like there’s something I should know, something I should realize. It’s on the tip of my tongue. After all, it is pretty strange that we would have the _same_ dream. And that guy that Jake mentioned…he had a name, I know he had a name.

“Huh” Jake says. “Well I guess stranger things have happened”

“Yeah” I agree. With that, we return to our pancakes, and the subject doesn’t come up again. After all, it really was just a dream.

**_Jacob_ **

            Three weeks pass and our days continue on pretty much the same. Our life is simple like that: pretty much the same day in and day out. It’s like living in a paradise. Sometimes I think it’s too good to be true, especially coming from the life that I did. Thing is, the days were all the same in Oklahoma too. It was a burden then, but now, here, it’s a dream come true. I think a lot of that has to do with Cassie.

My favorite part of every day is driving to work together. I drop her off at the bar, or her studio, whichever one she needs to be at first, and then head to teach my first class. Our time together on the way there brings the term “joy ride” to a whole new level. Like right now: we’re on my bike and she’s sitting behind me with her arms wrapped tightly around my middle, and her head leaning gently on my back. With the wind in my face and my girlfriend pressed up against me, I feel like I could stay there forever. It all comes to a halt too quickly of course; the bar isn’t far from our apartment. Before I leave she kisses me passionately on the lips, letting herself act like a real biker chick, then struts away and gives me a sexy little wave before going through the door.

I smile and shake off my glee before revving my engine and riding away. I love my job, and I love my studies, but when she kisses me like that, I’m left counting down the hours of each class just waiting until I can get close to her again. If someone were to ask me right now, I could definitely say I’m living my perfect life.

**_Cassandra_ **

            “And how would you describe your life right now, after everything you’ve accomplished and where you’re currently at?”

I’m sitting with a reporter in the bar I own with my friends, doing an interview for People Magazine.

“Perfect” I answer, without any hesitation or lack of conviction. “Flying with NASA was a dream come true and now that I’m a little older, I’m just happy to be settled down. And Cicely, Washington just ended up being the perfect little place to do so. And now I get to share my knowledge with little aspiring scientists everywhere, every day”

“And speaking of settling down” the reporter says, with a teasing tone in her voice. “Of course we all know about your relationship with the renowned professor Dr. Jacob Stone. Could you tell me a little about that?”

“Yes” I laugh. I’ve been expecting a question like this. I’ve had Jake as a guest on my show a few times, and everyone knows about us. We’ve become quite the celebrity couple, especially here in Cicely. Some of the kids have even taken to calling us by our own couple name: _Jassandra_

“We met when I moved here” I explain. “And we’ve been dating for a little over a year now, and we just recently moved into a little apartment on the island together. It overlooks the waterfront”

“Ooh” the reporter quips. “And do you think we could be seeing a _Jassandra_ wedding in the future?”

“Maybe” I chuckle, making sure not to say anything that could be twisted into an engagement announcement on the front page tomorrow. “You’d have to ask him”

“And one final question Commander Cillian” The reporter says. “There’s a lot of kids all ages who look up to you, either because they watch your show or because they know about your NASA missions. What would you like to say to them?”

I think about everything in my life for a moment: my NASA flights, my job, my home, my friendships, my relationship with Jacob.

“Don’t ever stop chasing after your dreams” I answer with a smile. “They really do come true”

**_Jacob_ **

            Cassandra and I are off doing what we need to do to help this Flynn guy that showed up. It’s the first time we’ve been alone since this morning, and I want to be enjoying it, but something is clearly not right here. I look over at Cassandra and she’s not moving, and she looks even more uneasy than I am.

“What’s wrong darlin’?” I ask.

“Something’s off about that Flynn guy” she says.

“Yeah no kidding. I think we all figured that out a while ago”

“No it’s not just the way he’s acting. I feel like I…recognize him or something”

“Recognize him?” I’m about to say that she sounds crazy, but as the words pass my lips, I realize how true they sound. It’s like there’s something tugging at me, telling me I should know who this guy is.

“Jacob when did we meet?” she asks breathlessly.

“What?”

“When did we _meet_ Jacob? _How_ did we meet?”

“I….” I start to answer her, but I suddenly realize that I can’t remember either. It’s on the tip of my tongue, the answer I should know easily, but even what’s trying to come doesn’t feel like it’s right.

“Jacob when was our first kiss?” she cries.

“I…”

“You see? You can’t remember either”

“Cassie…”

“I don’t know Jacob but this is all just so wrong” she exclaims, and I watch her begin to hyperventilate. I immediately have my arms out and approach her gingerly. She hasn’t panicked like this in a long time. I thought we were done with it. But I’m always on my guard ready to be there for her.

“This was supposed to be a simple day. I had the interview, and you were gonna teach your classes, and then we were gonna hang out at the bar and then go home and have dinner and…”

“Cassie Cassie Cassie” I say, taking her by the shoulders. “Look at me. It’s gonna be alright, okay? We’re gonna get this sorted out.”

We look into each other’s eyes, and for a moment, I feel something inside me, like I’m remembering something, something that never actually happened. It’s almost like I’m remembering another person. It’s like we have this whole story that’s not the one I should know.

And then, just as soon as the fog came, it clears. Cassie flashes me a warm smile.

“I love you” she says.

“I love you too” I reply, before she gently kisses me on the lips. “Now let’s get all this over with so we can go home”

**_Cassandra_ **

Flynn told us to each take our own route to the Totem, divide and conquer being the best strategy here. And I know that the job is more important, but I can’t help myself; I grab Jacob by the arm and pull him aside. Ezekiel, I’m not sure which one, gives us an understanding look and runs off.

My brain is even fuzzier than it was before. I’ve got two full realities now, two that I’m completely aware of, and they’re battling each other for dominance in my head, and with the spell partially broken, sensory overload is starting to come into play as well. At this point I know that talking to Jacob is the only thing that will at least partially clear the fog.

“Are you okay?” he asks immediately, and I can tell by the tone of his voice that it’s the real him, at least what I think is the real him.

“Yes. Are you?”

“I’m fine”

We reach up and hug each other tight, our first real embrace since the spell took effect. I know, and I think he does too, that we may only have our real memories for so long. They’re already flipping back and forth. I just want to hold him, to feel him, while I still partly know who I am, and why I’m feeling what I do when we embrace.

“Alright” he says, still holding me by the shoulders. “I’ll see you in a few minutes okay?”

He starts to run off but I stop him.

“Jacob!” I call. “Wait.”

He turns and walks back to me. I can’t even bring myself to look at him for fear of what I’m about to say, and I feel tears coming to my eyes. I know it’s wrong, but with a new life being showed to me, I can’t help but have selfish thoughts.

“What are we gonna do?” I ask.

“We’re gonna get to the totem pole and we’re gonna get this figured out”

“No I mean what are we gonna _decide_?”

“Cassie” he asks, his voice quieter and more concerned.

“Jacob if we stay here….” I begin. “I’m…I’m not sick. There’s no tumor. We can be together, get married, grow old. I can give you a forever”

“Cassie” he repeats. He grabs my chin and lifts it so I’m looking right at him. I can see his eyes shaking, on the brink of tears like mine, but I know he won’t cry in front of me right now.

“Look at me” he says, in his gentle voice that I know so well. “I know everything’s fuzzy right now. We don’t know which way is right. But one thing is clear Cassandra Cillian, no matter what reality we’re living in: I love you. And I just want to keep loving you, just as we are, for as long as I’ve got you. Forever is not how long we’re living. Forever is how long there’s you and me”

I smile, my face still completely teary, and then he leans down and kisses me. I remain there for a few moments, even though I know we have to move, because nothing makes me feel safer than his lips pressed against mine. We part and he gives me a final look of assurance.

 _True Love’s Kiss_ I think. _Just for good measure_

We give each other one final nod before our hands slowly separate as we run in opposite directions. And my mind immediately starts to fog up again. But it’s that last little kiss that stays in the back of my mind, and keeps me working towards the future where I truly belong, even when I’ve forgotten about it again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next week with the grand finale!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!


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